WKRP: It's a Dog's Life
By Uncle Mike
WKRP was possibly the worst-sounding radio station in all
of Cincinnati, but Jennifer was without a doubt the best-
looking secretary at any radio station in the entire country.
She had silky blond hair that billowed out around a smooth,
oval face with the poutiest, most kissable lips you've ever
seen. Her face, beautiful as it was, wasn't the best part. Her
body was an absolute temple to sex appeal. She had huge
breasts -- massive, but not so big as to be absurd -- that
today, as usual, stretch to the maximum a form-fitting pink
sweater. A tight, black leather skirt did very little to hide
the obscene curve of her hips. The skirt did nothing at all to
hide the sensuality of her legs, because it ended just about an
inch below her crotch. From there down to her black leather
pumps, the view was unobstructed of the smooth lines made
even more titillating by being encased in black nylons. If you
got lucky and were watching closely when Jennifer crossed
her legs, you might be able to tell that she wasn't wearing
pantyhose; these sheer stockings were held up by a black
garter belt. What you wouldn't be able to tell unless you got
really lucky -- and few men ever had -- was that she wasn't
wearing panties, either. Jennifer believed in the feeling of
freedom she got from not wearing underwear.
She also believed in the feeling of arousal she got from
fingering herself as she sat behind her desk, her crotch
hidden from view. She relied on that arousal frequently,
because for all her sexiness Jennifer rarely got a man in bed.
She tended to date older men -- much, much, much older men
-- for the same reason guys rob banks: that's where the
money is. They were rich, but they were almost dead, too.
So she was sitting behind her desk in the reception area of
WKRP, answering phones with one hand ("WKRP in Cincinnati!
May I help you?) while fingering herself with the other,
probing through wet pussy lips until she found the small
button of her clitoris with a shudder, rubbing and stroking
and prodding underneath while above the desk she appeared to
be just doing her job.
Despite appearances, however, she was quite lost in
passion when she suddenly heard a familiar, although not
"Hey, Jen-Jen! Think about me while I was gone?"
It was Herb Tarlik, the station's inept sales manager. Herb
was married, but that didn't stop his awkward flirting; Herb
dressed like a clown and acted like a clown without a clue,
but that didn't stop him from thinking he actually had a
chance with Jennifer. She quickly pulled her hand out of her
cunt and looked up at him, eyes a-sparkle -- not for him, but
because her eyes always sparkled.
"Were you gone, Herb? I hadn't noticed."
He ignored the comment and went on. "Doing anything after
work today? I've got two tickets for the wrestling match."
"Herb," she said in her sweetest voice, "I wouldn't go out
with you if you were the last man on Earth."
He might have had a comeback -- he usually did -- but
before he could say anything the glass doors to the offices
swung open and a big Russian wolfhound strolled in, followed
by a small man. The sizes of animal and man were so close it
wasn't immediately clear who was walking whom.
It was the man who spoke, however, so he was probably in
charge. "Mr. Tarlik! I'm Roy Jones, we spoke on the phone.
Jones Pet Stores? This here's Ralph. He's the dog we're going
to use in the commercials, OK?"
Herb turned on his customer-pleasing smile, which looked
disconcertingly like a sneer, and reached out to pat the dog. A
low, menacing growl warned him away. Taking a step or two
back, he welcomed Jones and walked him back to the studios.
Jennifer would have preferred to go back to her diddling,
but her boss, Mr. Carlson, came out just then with some
papers for her to type. She flew through them and was
stapling them together when Herb and Mr. Jones came back.
Herb looked flushed, and one sleeve of his tacky sport-coat
was ragged. Mr. Jones was apologizing. "Gee, I'm sorry, Herb,
Ralph never did anything like that before. He's usually really
nice to folks. I don't know what got into him."
They stopped at Jennifer's desk as Les Nessman, the
station's one-man news department, came up from behind.
"I'm going out to a hog farm, Jennifer," he said. "Oh, nice
doggie!" He took a step toward Ralph. In a flash of brown fur
the animal leaped up, clamping his bowtie between the dog's
powerful jaws. Mr. Jones tried to pull him off, but that only
made Les turn a bit purple around the neck. Jennifer reached
out, tapped the dog on the shoulder, and said softly, "No,
Ralph." In an instant, the dog released his grip and squatted at
Jennifer's desk. Les left hurriedly.
"He really seems to take to you, Miss," Jones said. "Say,
would you mind watching him while Herb and I go out to
lunch? We'll only be an hour or so." Jennifer smiled in
agreement, and Mr. Jones and Herb left.
Jennifer went back to her work, putting away some files.
As she moved between her desk and the cabinets behind her,
she noticed that Ralph kept his big, liquid brown eyes on her
all the time, swinging his streamlined head back and forth
like a fan at a tennis match. Every now and then, she petted
his silky smooth fur, rubbing a hand from his neck down to his
tail. He wagged it in appreciation and continued to stare at
Almost finished with the filing, she pulled the last slips of
paper out of a drawer. "Oh, darn," she said to herself as one
form slipped out of her hand and underneath the desk. She
pulled her chair back and looked but couldn't see it. Getting
down on her hands and knees, she crawled under the desk and
saw it, just one corner of the paper barely visible underneath
the bottom drawer. She reached out for it slowly, careful to
protect her polished nails. Just a little bit further -- it was a
tight squeeze between the floor and the drawer bottom, and
there seemed to be some kind of metal rod in the way -- a
little bit more... got it! She pulled her hand back. It wouldn't
budge. She pulled some more. She could feel her fingers swell
a bit and realized she was stuck. Reaching with her free left
hand, she groped on the top of the desk for the intercom,
found the cord, began to pull the base unit toward the edge --
and then realized that this was not quite the image she
wanted to present to Mr. Carlson, who tended to think that
Jennifer was perfect. "Oh, well," she told herself cheerfully,
"if I just wait a minute, the swelling will go down and I'll be
Even as she was saying that, she felt something against
the back of her thighs. Something cold and wet quickly slid up
her legs and landed right in her crotch. The touch surprised
her and she jumped, bumping her head on the bottom of the
desktop. The cold probing was quickly replaced with
something even wetter but hot and scratchy. She heard a
throaty growl. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Ralph's
head buried under her skirt. His furry body was right behind
her. She frantically tried to escape, but her maneuvering only
increased the swelling in her hand and excited Ralph, who
licked eagerly at her cunt. His thick, coarse tongue soon was
covered with her pussy juices and she shivered when a
particularly exuberant lick found her clit.
After several minutes, the licking stopped. Jennifer
breathed a sigh of relief -- only to turn into a gasp of shock
when she felt the pressure of a hot, furry body pushing up her
skirt and exposing her cunt, while she heard Ralph's forepaws
scratching on the desktop above her. She held her breath,
hoping the animal would falter, but the dog settled on top of
her and she felt its hard rod prodding the entrance to her
cunt. She reached back with her left hand to ward it off, but
all she could do was brush the stiff cock with her fingertips,
and that only got Ralph more excited. All at once he lunged
forward and his slim but long cock plunged full-length into
Jennifer's soaking wet pussy. She murmured protests as the
dog drove in and out, ramming his cock further into her than
any man had ever been. Juices poured out of her cunt and
dribbled down her thighs as the dog fucked her harder and
Then Jennifer heard a door open and Mr. Carlson's voice,
somewhat muffled where she was kneeling under the desk.
"Jennifer, did you finish those ..." His voice petered out. She
could picture him staring at Ralph, who had stopped his
bucking at the sound but still was balanced on Jennifer's ass,
the dog's paws splayed out on the desktop.
"I'm here, Mr. Carlson," she called out. Image be darned, she
thought, I've got to get out of here!
Unfortunately, what Jennifer couldn't see is that as she
called out, Ralph opened his mouth. Mr. Carlson blinked. "Is
that you, Jennifer?"
"Yes, it's really me!" Ralph yawned again.
Mr. Carlson looked befuddled, but then he was used to that.
"Oh, OK, then. Uh, did you finish those papers I asked you to
"Yes, they're on the desk, but..." As she spoke, Ralph's right
paw slipped a bit and pushed a stack of papers across the
desk toward Mr. Carlson. He snapped them up and rushed out of
the office. "Uh, thanks, Jennifer. I'll ... I'll probably be out the
rest of the day. I think I need some rest."
As soon as the door swung closed, Ralph returned to his
humping, driving his cock into Jennifer. He had to keep
shifting around to keep his balance, driving the head of his
cock in a swirl that drove her wild while his rod brushed all
over her pussy lips.
With a sharp, short bark, Ralph blew his load inside her.
She felt the hot cum fill her cunt and spill out. Then the dog
backed up, edging his cock out of her hot box. She
automatically reached her hand up to wipe the sweat from her
brow -- and stared at the hand, realizing that the
perspiration had lubricated the fingers enough to slide out of
Quickly she crawled out from under the desk and brushed
down her sweater and skirt, both covered with silky brown
fur. Ralph was squatting beside the desk again, this time with
a dazed look in his eyes, his tongue lolling out one corner of
Jennifer began to speak sharply to him, but one look at
those huge eyes and she melted inside. Then she realized that
she hadn't really melted -- that is, she still hadn't cum. The
dog's fucking had brought her to the brink of orgasm, but he'd
pulled out when he was done without waiting for her, just
like a man, she thought. She looked over at Ralph again. He
seemed to be recovered from the exertion.
Thoughtfully, Jennifer ordered him: "Stand up, boy." He
stood. Oooh, she thought, he follows orders. He's BETTER than
a man. She walked to his side and began caressing his hot,
throbbing sides. Slowly, her hands slid down until she found
his cock, now shrunken. She began to stroke it gently. Ralph
gave a querulous kind of bark and turned his head around,
trying to see what was going on. She gave the dog her sexiest
smile. "C'mon, boy. Time to teach you a new trick."
Walking over to the couch near the outside door, Jennifer
pulled a hassock up to the edge. She turned to face Ralph and
began to strip. Slowly she pulled the tight sweater over her
head, exposing her ripe melons. As she kept lifting, her tits
bounced free. Ralph stared at the jiggling mounds, each
boasting a dark brown center with a thick, erect nipple.
Jennifer pulled the sweater all the way off and caressed her
breasts, squashing them together. She put out her hand and
Ralph licked it; then she brought the hand to her chest and
rubbed it over her nipples.
Reaching down, she unzipped her skirt and stepped out of
it, revealing a thick bush of black hair -- "Sorry, Ralph, I'm
not a natural blonde," she giggled -- and a red, engorged
pussy. She sat down on the couch, sliding forward until her
head was against the back cushions and her ass was on the
edge of the hassock. She spread her legs wide, her pumps on
either side of the hassock, giving Ralph full access to her
cunt, her tunnel open wide before him.
"Here, boy!" He moved forward. Again he licked at her cunt,
but after a minute she pulled his head up and motioned him to
move forward. She maneuvered his forepaws onto the couch
on either side of her chest. The position was awkward for the
dog, but with a bit of adjustment he got the idea and soon the
tip of Ralph's penis was once again at the entrance to her
cunt. Jennifer grabbed the dog's ass and pulled it forward,
forcing his cock into her up to the hilt. Ralph began to bark
lustily as his cock drove in and out. Jennifer applied gentle
pressure to his head and he got the idea, licking away at her
bountiful boobs. The rough scratchiness of the tongue against
her sensitive nipples drove her quickly to the heights of
passion, and she closed her legs around his flanks, urging him
deeper and harder and faster. She could feel his hot breath
against her neck as she bucked in rhythm, the dog's cock
scraping in and out in wild abandon. "Good doggie! Good doggie!
Good fucking doggie! Fuck me fuck me
fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckme!" She wrapped her arms around
Ralph's shuddering body and lifted her heels straight up in the
air. His cock plunged even deeper into her; it felt as if the
head of his dick was down her throat! Finally, with a shriek of
delight and joy and passion, Jennifer's legs squeezed tight
around Ralph. A bright red flush spread across her ample
chest and she shuddered and shook in wave after wave after
wave of incredible orgasm.
When at least she shivered to a halt, she pushed Ralph
away. He seemed reluctant to go. With a smile, Jennifer
realized that this time the dog hadn't finished. "I'm sorry,
boy," she cooed. "But I can help." Sliding off the couch, she
positioned herself on the floor underneath Ralph's sweaty
body and took his cock into her mouth. Closing her lips around
it, she sucked the tip while her hands roamed up and down its
impressive length until she could feel his balls tighten and a
warm jet of cum shot down her throat.
By the time Herb and Mr. Jones returned from lunch,
Jennifer was back at her desk typing up a memo and Ralph
was just where they'd left him, squatting beside her.
"Did he give you any trouble?" Mr. Jones asked.
"Oh, no, Ralph was a perfect gentleman."
Herb was edging around the outside of the office, keeping
as far from Ralph as possible.
"What's the matter, Herb? Afraid of a little doggie?"
Jennifer's smile was as bright as the sun.
"No, no, I ..." As Herb's eyes grew wide, Ralph sauntered
toward him. Herb pressed back against the wall. "No! Bad
doggie! Go 'way!" Ralph moved closer and launched himself at
Herb ... only to reach a paw onto either shoulder and lick
Herb's face in a friendly goodbye before dutifully trotting out
of the office behind his master.
Herb brushed off a few hairs and patted down his greasy
hair before strolling over to Jennifer's desk.
"So, babe," he purred, "did you think over that date thing?"
"C'mon, Jennifer, if I was the only guy on Earth, you'd date
me then, wouldn't you?"
"Well, Herb, would there be any dogs left?"
"Huh? Dogs? Yeah, I guess..." She smiled. "Then the
answer's still no."