Note Of What Has Gone Before: Chakotay's encounter with former members of the
Borg collective include a brief liaison with a beautiful woman named Riley
Frasier. Meanwhile, the Doctor has been behaving erratically.

Star Trek - Voyager:
The Secret Logs Of Mistress Janeway Part 19 - Penance (MF,BDSM)
by Mistress Nova

Captain's Personal Log:

Torres was hearing my words. I could tell that by the flush in her cheeks.
However, I could feel the resistance to those words.

"Dear one, quite frankly, the boys are frightened," I said. "Your enthusiasm
has overwhelmed them. Remember, pet, anger scars you and your slaves. I had
hoped that you would have worked out your residual feelings about Vorik."

"I had."

"But there remains the Doctor," I said.

"Yes, Mistress. But it is not comforting to hear that he was not in his right

"I know," I replied. "But the flesh of your fellow slaves cannot bear any

"Yes, Mistress," she said glumly.

"There is a way to work out your rage without endangering anyone. It will
also allow you to vent that potent emotion directly," I said. "After your
shift, I will take you to someone who can help."

Torres nodded.

"And please free the Ensign. She hasn't reported for duty and questions
are rising." I said. "I grant she is enticing, but all of us have
responsibilities including that dear little one."

"Yes, Mistress."

"It will be alright, B'Elanna. I will take care of everything." I said. "Now,
get to work."

She left me then. On an impulse, I stared to call for Chakotay. I missed him
terribly, but he had become elusive. His experience with Riley and the Borg
colony caused me great apprehension. I felt what had passed between them. It
startled me. Though I had to offer, the thought of that beautiful woman on
board frightened me beyond words. Yet the darling Commander did not second
guess my decision. He had not changed his regard for me. I sensed it.
Whatever they shared did not effect us.

In the aftermath of the betrayal, we had lost each other. I did not want to
breach his privacy while he dealt with the feelings Riley left and the
violation committed by the Borg colony. My beautiful Commander was, at heart,
a private man. I thought he would come to me when he was ready to talk. With
that in mind, I allowed myself to become absorbed in the data from the Borg
cube, looking for weaknesses that Voyager could use.

I admit lapsing into the investigation to the exclusion of everything else.
The data was fascinating to me. No Federation ship had collected more. I was
aware of Chakotay beside me and the turmoil he was in, but I was distracted
and unwilling to go to him without a request. What he went through was beyond
my comprehension. I didn't want to intrude on him.

Three weeks after the Borg incident, a week after I set Torres after
satisfaction from the Doctor, I was alone in my quarters when I received a
very strange call.

"Barrows to Janeway," the voice said.

My pen went flying. I set my head in my hands. "Mistress... what may I do for

"Do for me? What have you done, pet?"


"Is it my birthday? Some anniversary? Why have you given me this gift?" She

"What gift?"

"I have a beautiful, naked Chakotay kneeling at my feet," she said.

I shot to my feet. "Mistress... I beg you... don't do anything," I said.
"I'm on my way."

"I'll try, pet. But I make no guarantees..."

I ran a flat out sprint through the corridors. I ignored Neelix's plea for
something and the stares of a few crewmen to get to the Holodeck in less that
five minutes. I found Barrows walking around Commander Chakotay considering
his musculature with her riding crop.

I dropped to my knees.

"Mistress... Please, don't..."

Barrows considered me and my request. I was startled to see how torn she was.
When she took her seat on the throne, I got to my feet.

"Chakotay," I said firmly. "What are you doing here?"

"You won't come to me after what I've done," he said quietly. "If I serve
your Mistress, I would, at least remain close to you."

"Why would you think such a thing?"

He wouldn't look at me. "I have betrayed you on many levels."

I was incredulous, but in looking at him closely, it was clear he was serious
and deeply troubled.

"Chakotay, I don't hold you responsible for what happened," I said.

"But you wouldn't come to me," he said. "Somehow, I've lost you."

I looked at Barrows for help. A hood appeared in my hand with the audio
block. I put it on him.


"Give him what he craves," she said. "For whatever reason which you will not
get from him now, he feels this is the only path back to you."


"Kathryn, do it. Or I will," she said. "It is what he needs now."

"Mistress, please," I said. "I will handle him... in whatever way necessary.
Please, allow me privacy."

Barrows disappeared.

I inhaled then removed the hood. With great effort to control the anger in
me, I tilted his head up to look at me.

"How dare you go to Mistress Barrows?" I demanded. "You don't seem to have
any problem waiting in my quarters naked when you want something from me, do

He didn't reply.

"Answer me, Mister!"

"Yes... Mistress."

"You want to find your way to me after this?"

"Yes... Mistress."

"Put your clothes on then meet me in my quarters," I said. "We'll see how
badly you want me."

* * *

Back in my quarters, I walked around the Commander who was still dressed and
standing with his eyes down.

"You know what I require," I said.

"Yes, Mistress."

"Remove all of your clothing then stand by the bed." I said.

"Yes, Mistress."

Chakotay complied keeping his eyes cast down. I was frustrated by his silence
and by the wall between us that I didn't understand.

"Raise your arms above your head and stand with your legs shoulder width
apart," I said. In short order, he was shackled.

I resisted touching him with the gloves. I used the butt of the whip instead
to trace the muscles along his spine. In all honesty, this moment was a
fantasy. However, I'd wanted to seduce him into wanting to explore this side
of my sensuality. Barrows was right, this postulant needed something from me.
It was time to give it to him.

The first weapon was the leather lash. I wanted to warm his skin all over
before I began testing his endurance. Chakotay's skin turned such a lovely
color as I worked him over making those muscles even more beautiful than

"Your skin is on fire, isn't it?"

"Yes, Mistress," Chakotay gritted out through his teeth.

"Your whole body is aware of everything," I said. I blew gently on his ear,
my lips close to the lobe. The Commander was instantly erect. "That's it,

I went after that gorgeous ass and those thighs with the lightweight whip.
Those areas were sensitive to my fingers and tongue. I used a light wrist
action. The blows were like caresses. Chakotay gasped and struggled against
the shackles.

"Be still!" I snapped. It was time to let him rest for a moment, and I needed
some wine.

Chakotay was trying to regulate his breathing. His skin was covered in a
sheen of perspiration. I sat down on the bed and watched him.

"Look at me, sweetness," I said.

The pain and guilt in his eyes were beyond my comprehension. What was he
thinking about?

"What is it, Chakotay?"

"The Mistress is beautiful," he whispered.

"Do you want her?"

"Yes," he replied lowering his eyes.

So you don't want to look at me, I thought. I blindfolded him.

"Maybe you can talk to me now," I said. "Tell me what is troubling you,

"I caused you pain," he said quietly. "It was in your eyes when I brought
Riley onboard."

That startled me. "Perhaps momentarily."

"I've worked so hard to win your trust."

"You have not breached it."

Chakotay hung his head.

I went to him. "Fine, I'll see just how much you can stand, pet."

I released the shackles. Chakotay dropped to his knees.

A leather collar was placed around his neck. I tugged on it.

"Crawl to the bed and climb on. I want you on elbows and knees."

"Yes, Mistress."

"Rest your head on your hands." I said. He was such a magnificent, powerful
being. His vulnerability made me horny. I paddled him lightly, enjoying the
coloring of his skin.

"You are gorgeous like this, pet," I said.

"Thank you, Mistress."

"Are you mine?"


"Without hesitation?"


"What are you willing to do for me, dear one?"


I touched the hard muscles of his buttocks to feel his sizzling flesh. He
moaned into his hands. I wanted to push him further then I'd ever had before.
It was time for the strap-on. The attachment was a reasonable size and well
lubricated. I removed the blindfold then pushed a button to reveal mirrors on
the side of the bed and above it.

"Watch, Chakotay," I whispered. "Watch me take you."

I lubricated him with two fingers first. Then, I slowly pushed into him
filling him.

Chakotay turned to the mirror watching me pump into him. He began to moan. I
knew he was hard. I knew he would soon be bursting. On impulse, I reached
beneath him and grasped him firmly. With each stroke into him, I stroked that
beautiful cock. Chakotay didn't last long watching that. He came intensely
then collapsed.

"Clean off my bed, my equipment, our uniforms, and yourself," I said. "I'm
going to get ready for bed."

"Yes, Mistress."

I took a sonic shower and dressed. My desire was blunted by the continuing
confusion caused by the Commander's attitude. He was kneeling by my bed when
I came out of the bathroom.

"Make a pallet on the floor then go to sleep," I said. "We continue in the

"Yes, Mistress."

There was fatigue in his voice. The session was draining for him. At least
he would sleep. I was wound up like a top mentally. In the stillness of my
bedroom, I could hear Chakotay's deep, regular breathing next to me. For a
time, I could resist temptation. However as time passed and fatigue would
not take me, I felt compelled to look at him. It was a mistake. I wanted
him terribly. He was beautiful awash in the starlight. There was nothing to
be done save stare at him until my eyelids grew heavy.

It seemed that I slept only an instant. My alarm woke me an hour earlier
than usual. I ordered Chakotay to shower. He received a couple dozen lashes
on his butt and thighs. Before he dressed, I inserted a respectably sized
butt plug into him.

"You will wear this during your shift today, pet," I said. "To remind you of
your training."

Chakotay looked startled, aroused and humiliated. He put on his uniform and
awaited my command.

"You will eat after your shift then report here. I want you naked and waiting
for me when I return," I said.

"Yes, Mistress.

* * *

Mr. Kim noticed the change in Chakotay's walk. He nearly fell out of his
chair. He looked at me. I gave him a stare that froze him in his tracks. He
returned to his work. The flurry caused Tom to glance back. He could tell by
the way Chakotay sat what was going on. He turned scarlet, looked at Kim,
then turned away. They knew what was going on and were humiliated for him.
Though no one could be as humiliated as the Commander himself.

With male slaves, the threat of physical force only went so far. Other
measures were necessary to break down walls. I didn't like humiliation as a
discipline generally, but there were the occasional stubborn cases when it
was necessary. It took Chakotay a couple of hours, but eventually he was able
to concentrate on his work. Only occasionally did our eyes meet. They were
considering me strangely.

I ate dinner with the boys and Torres in my Ready Room. The tension between
them had eased considerably. We talked about incidental ship matters
concerning engineering for a time. The questions about Chakotay hung over the
meal like a pall, but no one dared ask. That was a relief. If I had to put up
with any more insubordination from anyone else in my circle, they were all
going to be sentenced to hard time with Mistress Barrows and there would be
no reprieve. The dinner was relaxing. I enjoyed the conversations of my
attractive, witty slaves. For a while, they made me laugh.

Paris and Kim left first for a poker game. Torres helped me clean up. She was
watching me carefully. I sighed.

"You may ask before you burst," I said.

"Why did you do that to him? Why did he take it?" She asked

"He asked for it," I said. Torres looked skeptical. "No, he literally asked
for it. He demanded training from me or he would seek it from Barrows."


"The poor man seems to think he's breached my trust with the damnable Riley,"
I said. "She's the one that needs a butt plug up her ass. Anyway, you know
how stubborn he can be when he gets a conviction in his heart. Chakotay's
convinced himself he needs to do penance."

"Does he?"

"Of course not," I said. "Taking him while he was under the influence of the
link was rape," I said. "I'm not sure if he wouldn't have been attracted to
her without it, but he never had a real choice."

Torres nodded. "I wish you luck. Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is

I left her. It was time to deal with the Commander.

"Janeway to Chakotay," I said to my com badge.

"Chakotay here."

"Where are you."

"In your quarters... waiting," he replied quietly.

"Remove the plug, then shower. Wait on my bed flat on your back," I said.

"Yes, Mistress."

Chakotay was there when I entered. His eyes were closed, but I could tell by
the rate of breathing that he wasn't asleep.

"Relax, dear one," I said. "I'm going to shackle you."

I locked the wrist and ankle shackles into place. Then I undressed
completely, and brushed my hair. Upon returning, I put another pillow under
the Commander's head. He was tensing for the next onslaught.

"I want you to open your eyes and look at me, Chakotay. Do not take your eyes
off me," I said.

He obeyed. His eyes widened at the sight of me at the foot of the bed naked
with my hair flowing everywhere.

I began with the soles of his feet rubbing oil into them. Then, I rubbed
my hardened nipples across them while my palms worked oil onto his legs.
Chakotay realized what I intended to do. His eyes flashed with pleasure and
amazement. I oiled his body then slid my torso upward along his slicked skin
slowly and deliberately until my face was level with his.

Chakotay looked at my lips for a long moment, then stared into my eyes. I
mounted him in the next instant. We both gasped. I rode him with slow, long
movements until he was as hard and full as I could stand, then I moved faster
with shorter strokes. He couldn't fight me. He came with a growl. His eyes
never left mine. I came under his intense gaze.

My cheek rested on his shoulder as I lay heavily against him. I tripped the
release on the shackles.

"Prepare my bath, pet," I said. "When that is done, carry me to it."

"Yes, Mistress."

I stifled a moan when his arms wrapped around me to gently move me on the
bed. I vaguely heard the water running. A short while later, I was lowered
into the hot, fragrant water.

"Get in with me," I murmured. "Wash my hair and my body."

"Yes, Mistress," he whispered.

I drifted into pure heaven. Chakotay loved my hair. His face turned to bliss
as he shampooed the massive volume of it. He was good at it, too. Better at
rinsing it than I was. I suppose it was a matter of patience. Chakotay
wrapped then secured a towel on my head. He lathered and massaged me from my
neck to my toes. His hands were so gentle despite their strength. His face
was absolutely serene.

After rinsing me, Chakotay backed away to the opposite end of the tub. I
ordered more hot water.

"Don't move, pet," I said. "I want to enjoy my prize."

I lathered his body slowly. My hands used a pressure somewhere between a
massage and a caress. Chakotay sighed then closed his eyes. His heart was
pounding against my hands as I moved across his chest. I washed his hair
loving the feel of it under my hands.

Chakotay was very hard when he dried me off. He had dried himself off first.
The towel on my head came loose sending my hair down to my shoulders. He
stared at me. There was heat and hunger in his eyes.

"Chakotay, can we stop now?" I said. "Your penance is punishing me as well.
I've not rested since this began."

Chakotay lowered his eyes. I turned away to my bed. Chakotay grabbed me from
behind then held me against him.

"Mistress," he murmured. Chakotay's mouth attached to the nape of my neck.
His forearm supported me across my abdomen as his tongue and lips traversed
the skin on my shoulder blade to my spine. Gently, he nudged my thighs apart
as that powerful tongue moved downward. His arms left me as his tongue found
the crease between my cheeks and then the backs of my thighs.

He lay down between my feet looking up at me. I lowered myself onto his
mouth. He supported my back on those powerful thighs. Gods, his mouth was
wonderful. He lapped at me like sweet nectar. I moaned loudly under his
onslaught. The screaming began when his fingers found my nipples. I melted
over him in a wave of orgasm.

Chakotay carried me to bed. I was barely aware of it. He cradled me against
him stroking my drying hair.

"You could never willingly hurt me, Chakotay," I whispered. "I've trusted few
the way I trust you."

I raised on an elbow to look at him. I traced the contours of his face. "I
did not demand monogamy from you. I could not demand that of you. I have no

"I made a vow," he whispered.

"You never broke it." I said with a smile, "Never put me through that
again... except for the occasional foreplay."

The heat returned to his eyes. Chakotay caught me by the hair and pulled me
to him. Finally, his kiss was mine. That tongue sought mine with a raw
urgency. I moaned in delight. I nearly sobbed. His kiss was such a narcotic
for me.

"I never felt so aware," he said when he broke the kiss. "No wonder they
don't want to lose you."

Chakotay kissed me again more ruthlessly. My heart soared as he pushed inside
me. He was intent on overwhelming me. I was more than willing to surrender.


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