DEEP SPACE 9: I've Looked at Life from Both Sides Now
By Uncle Mike
Kira plucked the two steaming glasses of bluish liquid from Quark, the
elephant-eared bar owner, and, with a piercing look, dismissed his attempt to
She waited until he had turned and taken several steps away before her stern
face dissolved into a giggling smile. She slid one of the glasses across the
smooth, round tabletop as she turned to her companion.
"So tell me, Jadzia, what was it really like?"
Jadzia, a slim, dark-haired young woman with a leopard-like pattern of spots
curving down from her forehead, took a sip of the potent brew and smiled with
her eyes over the rim at her friend.
"What was what like?" she asked, putting down the glass.
The wrinkles running across the bridge of Kira's pert nose got even deeper.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about, and don't you try to tell me
different," she said, with laughter behind her words. "So come on, tell me.
You've been putting me off too long."
Jadzia, the space station's computer expert, seemed to enjoy dealing with a
real human being instead of bits and bytes; she took the teasing lightly but
appeared disinclined to give in so easily.
She and Kira, the second-in-command, would have made an unusual pair in an
Earth bar. There was their alien appearance, of course, although in both cases
the differences from Earth form were small. And there was a slight
Mutt-and-Jeff look, with Jadzia's lean look and long hair contrasted with
Kira's smaller, more husky build and close-cropped head. And then there were
their personalities. Though both showed hints of girlishness, Jadzia hid hers
behind a serious expression that seemed to bear the weight of centuries;
Kira's softer side was often hidden behind a gruff, easy-to-anger exterior.
For all that those things would make them a mild curiosity on Earth, however,
here in the weird goulash of Quark's multi- planetary clientele, they looked
So boring, indeed, that no one turned a head, or any other eye- bearing
appendage, when Kira playfully prodded Jadzia's arm and the taller woman burst
out in laughter.
"OK, OK, I'll tell you," she said, washing the statement down with another
swig. "But it's not really easy to put into words. I mean, I've had hundreds
of years to work it out."
"You mean Dax has had hundreds of years," Kira said.
"Dax, Jadzia, every day it gets harder to tell us apart."
"But there's still a lot of Jadzia there," Kira pressed. "And I want Jadzia,
the woman, to tell me what it was like for Dax to be in men's bodies. How did
it feel? What was it like to be in love as a man? What was -- what was it like
to MAKE love as a man?" She ducked her eyes down as she finished.
"Kira Nerys! I knew that's what you were after all along. So much for grand
philosophical insights! You just want to know what it's like on the other side
of the sheets."
Kira blushed faintly. "Well, why not? Weren't you a little curious before --
"We're prepared very carefully to receive the symbiont," Jadzia said, trying
to keep a straight face. "We must deal with many serious issues. There's no
time for ..."
Kira had tilted her head and her stare was boring into Jadzia's eyes.
"... Oh, OK, you win. Of course I wondered."
"So?" Kira was leaning forward now, whispering conspiratorially. "What was it
"What can I tell you? It was -- different."
Kira sat back and sipped at her drink, waiting out her friend. Jadzia finally
"Well, it was. Better and worse. Or -- well, maybe 'better' and 'worse' aren't
the right words. It was -- well, it wasn't as - - sophisticated? Complex?"
"You mean wham, bam, thank you, ma'am?"
"No, not -- well, yes, one or two of Dax's male hosts were like that, in fact.
But most of them were a lot more thoughtful. No, I mean that the feelings on
the inside don't seem as complicated as in a woman's body. It's like we make
love with our whole minds and our whole bodies."
"And a guy just thinks through his cock, right?" Kira barked out a laugh as
she drained the last of her drink.
Jadzia smiled slightly. "Something like that. But, if you really want to start
to understand -- there's a better way to explain it." Her eyes narrowed. "If
you're really interested, I mean."
Kira raised her eyebrows. "Sure, I'm interested. So try me."
"Not here." Jadzia rose from the table. "And unfortunately not now. I've got
to go over some subroutines with Chief O'Brien. But come to my place after
Kira nodded her assent and then left the bar as well.
Odo, who looked like a clay sculpture someone hadn't quite finished, looked up
from his reports as Kira entered the cubicle that served as office for the
"Major Kira," he said, leaning back in his chair. "To what do I owe the
"Just making the rounds, Odo," the young woman said, striding over and sitting
down on the other side of the cluttered desk.
"Nothing more?" He steepled his hands before him.
"What do you mean? Can't I just drop in to chat?"
Odo leaned forward. "Yes, of course, Major. It's just that -- well, isn't
there something you're not telling me?"
Kira closed her eyes for a second. "Odo," she said as she opened them again.
"Is there anything that goes on that you don't know about?"
"I certainly hope not," the security chief said, somewhat smugly.
Kira smiled. "Just where do you get your information from, anyway?"
"Major," he said, seeming to draw a breath, "I've run the security on this
station under the Cardassians and now the Bajorans. I've got sources the
Cardassians wouldn't have been able to get a word out of with all their
torture. Do you really think your Bajoran charm is going to get them now?"
"Charm? Why, Odo, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Odo's face seemed to blur or even melt slightly; one might guess it was what
passed for a blush with him. He bent his head back down to his papers.
"Yes, well, if you're not ready to talk to me about it yet..."
"Oh, all right, Odo. It's nothing important, really."
"Not important? Just that after all this time the Bajoran government has
decided that I have to undergo a yearly evaluation to make sure I'm doing a
"Well, yes, but -- did your sources tell you who's doing the evaluation?"
He was still looking down at the desk; he didn't see her grin. "No," he said,
"but I would presume it's some bureaucrat from ..." At Kira's giggle he lifted
his head and stared.
"You?" he said, at last.
"Yes, me," Kira said. "Who else? So don't worry about it, Odo, you've already
passed the evaluation. We just need to fill out some forms for the record."
"Well, in that case, Major, how about now? I'd just as soon get this over with
so I can get on with my job."
Kira began to nod, but then stopped. "Oh, sorry, I can't. I've got to talk to
Commander Sisko before dinner, and I'm meeting Jadzia at her place after that.
How about tomorrow? First thing after the shift starts?"
Odo nodded, once. "Very well." He paused, then went on. "So you're seeing
Lieutenant Dax tonight? No problem with the station's computers, I hope."
"No, nothing like that. She's -- well, I guess I can tell you, Odo." Kira
smiled broadly as her voice fell to a whisper. "She's going to tell me what it
was like when she was a man -- I mean, when Dax was in men's bodies. Can you
imagine what that was like?"
Odo's eyelids fluttered. "I think I have an idea," he began to say.
"No, Odo, I mean -- what it was like to be a man with a woman! I can't wait
to hear what she has to say!" With that, Kira bounced out of the chair and
As she left, Odo looked after her. He kept looking at the door opening long
after she'd gone through it.
The portal of Jadzia's quarters blooped when Kira approached and then opened
with a swoosh.
The lights were dim. Soft music -- alien to Kira's ears, but vaguely pleasing
-- filled the room. An almost unnoticeable scent wafted on the imperceptible
breezes stirred so softly by the space station's life support units.
Jadzia was no longer in her well-tailored Federation uniform with the
long-sleeved tunic and slacks. She had changed into a filmy gown that seemed
to change from one pastel to another every time she changed position. It was
held up only by two thin straps, allowing a clear view of the spots running
down her neck.
Kira was still in her uniform, all well-pressed creases. She looked a bit
uncomfortable as she walked over to where Jadzia was sitting -- lounging,
really -- on what apparently passed for a couch. The smaller woman perched on
the edge, testing it for support.
"I'm sorry about the uniform," she said, settling down into the thick, soft
"Don't be silly," Jadzia said. "It's perfectly all right. Besides, I don't
know if I'd recognize you without it!"
Kira's face reddened slightly. "What do you mean? I do have a life outside of
"Relax!" Jadzia tugged at Kira, pulling her back against the pillows until
she, like Jadzia, was lying almost flat. "I didn't mean anything by it. It was
just a joke. Come on, we're off duty now." With her long, slender fingers,
Jadzia expertly massaged the stiff muscles of the smaller woman's neck and
shoulders. "There, doesn't that feel better?"
Kira sighed. "Yes, thanks," she said, as her whole body seemed to release its
tension. "Wow, that feels great. Where did you learn to do that?"
"It's a little trick Curzon Dax picked up, a few decades ago. You really like
This time Kira purred and said nothing.
Jadzia continued to massage her friend, working out the kinks in Kira's arms.
"I could just lie here and let you do that forever," Kira said, wriggling her
shoulders. "But you said you could tell me more about -- you know."
Jadzia's fingers worked their way down past the smaller woman's elbows. "Oh,
you haven't forgotten? I must not be doing this right." She motioned to Kira
to turn over. Then Jadzia straddled her and began to press her knuckles into
the small of her friend's back, working her way up.
"I don't think you could do it any better," Kira said, her voice muffled
slightly by a pillow. She kicked off her boots and wiggled her toes, which
hung just over the edge of the couch. "But I still want to know. How did it
feel -- being inside a man?"
"I don't know where to start," Jadzia answered, her fingertips pushing against
Kira's shoulder blades.
"Well, how about -- how about a kiss? What did a kiss feel like as a man?"
"Compared to what?"
Kira laughed. "Compared to as a woman, of course!"
"Hmmm, let me see. Well, I'm not really sure. Maybe I have to refresh my
memory." With that, Jadzia rolled Kira over onto her back, still straddling
her. The taller woman bent down and pressed her lips to her friend's smiling
Kira seemed surprised. Her eyes opened wide as Jadzia pressed down. Then
Kira's lips opened slightly as Jadzia slipped her tongue inside. Kira's arms
closed around her friend's waist.
Their kiss lasted for minutes as their tongues explored each other's mouth
while their hands roamed and their legs tangled together. They rolled over on
the soft cushions, coming to rest at last side by side as they broke their
"Mmmm, it wasn't as good as that," Jadzia whispered.
"Kissing as a man." Jadzia stroked Kira's side as she spoke. "It was never so
Jadzia smiled. "And how would you know?"
"I mean -- it never felt like that for me. With a man, I mean. So soft. So..."
Kira pressed her lips to Jadzia's again. Their mouths open, they kissed
hungrily. Jadzia slipped a hand underneath Kira's tunic and slid it around her
waist. Their bodies pressed together tightly.
With a sudden movement, Kira broke the kiss and slid away from Jadzia,
swinging her feet to the floor and sitting with her head in her hands. "What
are we doing?" she half-sobbed. "I'm not -- I'm not that kind of woman! Not
..." She gulped. "...Not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just --
Jadzia's voice came from behind her. "How do you know you're not that kind of
woman? Have you ever tried it before?"
"No!" Kira half turned but stopped, seeming afraid to face her friend now. She
shook her head slowly. "I -- I like MEN," she said. "Always have."
"I'll tell you a secret," Jadzia whispered back. "So do I."
Kira's head snapped up, but still she didn't turn around.
"That's right," Jadzia said. "I like men. And women. And there's nothing wrong
with that. If there's one thing Dax has learned after all these centuries,
it's that nothing's wrong if two people care for each other. And, Kira ..."
Jadzia put a hand on the smaller woman's chin and turned it toward her. "... I
do care for you. And I think you care for me."
Kira's mouth fell open. Jadzia's filmy gown was gone, just a pile of pastel
wisps on one corner of the couch.
Jadzia was sitting cross-legged behind her. Her taut breasts were capped by
startlingly erect nipples. Her smooth stomach curved down to a velvety stripe
of dark hair above a reddened labia, framed by the angles of her long, slender
"You said you wanted to know what it was like, for a man," she said. "I'd like
to teach you." With that, Jadzia stretched out on the couch, resting her head
on one of the throw pillows. She stretched out her legs, rubbing them up and
down Kira's sides. "Do you want to learn?"
Kira stood up, turning to face the couch. She moved slowly, stiffly, as if her
mind and muscles weren't completely in synch. She stood for a moment and then
put her hands on the bottom of her tunic.
In one fluid move she pulled it up and off. Her breasts bounced free -- larger
than Jadzia's, not quite as firm, crowned by dark brown cones that protruded
Tossing aside the tunic, Kira slid out of her slacks. A downy triangle pointed
straight at her opening. Freed of the starchy uniform, she still had something
of the look of authority -- well-muscled arms and legs, an erect posture. But
as she crawled onto the couch and moved toward Jadzia, her breasts hanging
down and swaying from side to side, she seemed to soften.
Jadzia raised her arms, bringing Kira to her. Again they kissed, this time
pressing their breasts together. Their combined weight pushed down against the
cushions, creating a nest for their lovemaking.
As Kira kissed her way across Jadzia's neck and shoulders, her hand slid
across her friend's supple body and found the already moist opening of her
tunnel. Kira moved down, taking first one nipple and then the other into her
mouth. Meanwhile her probing fingers fluttered around the other woman's labia,
stroking gently the soft, creamy thighs.
"You're doing very well for your first time," Jadzia murmured, her hands
tracing circles on Kira's taut back. "But a man wouldn't be so gentle. Do it
harder, Kira. I'm your woman. Take me!"
Kira pressed two fingers deep into Jadzia. The taller woman arched her back
slightly at the penetration. "Yes!" she sighed. "That's it. Be my man!"
Harder and faster, Kira pushed her fingers in and out of the hot, wet tunnel
as she kissed her way down the smooth stomach. Harder and faster her hand
drove up and down until her face was hovering over the musky hole. Kira
pressed her lips to Jadzia, smearing the sticky goo over her face as she
pressed her tongue down, licking the clitoris.
Jadzia shrieked at the contact. Her hands beat against the cushions, sending
pillows flying. "Do it!" she cried. "Yes, Kira, fuck me with your tongue! Fuck
me with your fingers! Do it like a man would. I like it rough!"
Jadzia's legs closed around Kira's head and her hands pressed down on her
friend's cropped hair. Still Kira's fingers kept up their rhythm and her
tongue slipped back and forth on the sensitive clit.
Then, with a loud moan, Jadzia began to shiver violently. Kira slipped her
fingers out and drove her tongue into the opening, fucking with her tongue
while she rode out the wild orgasm.
"Lick me, Kira," Jadzia managed to get out. "Li-iiiiiiick me!"
And then she could only screech as her body shook and froze, shook and froze.
When her wild gyrations ceased, Kira crawled back up Jadzia's body, licking
and suckling as she did, until her own hot wet hole was poised over the other
Jadzia's tongue snaked upward, licking at the sensitive outer folds. Soon
Kira's juices were flowing freely but still Jadzia did not enter her. The
smaller woman ground her hips onto Jadzia's face. "Put it in me!" she
commanded. "In me!"
Jadzia wriggled free of the steaming tunnel for a moment. "You wanted to know
what it was like to be a man, remember?" she said.
Kira growled playfully. "Not any more! I want to be fucked like a woman!"
"Well, all right," Jadzia conceded. "But you still have to do something for
me. Reach underneath the couch. There should be something ..."
"Is this it?" Kira pulled out a thick, shiny black rod, about as long as her
forearm. It was bent slightly in the middle and each end came to a slightly
bulbous tip. "Is this -- what I think it is?"
"You wanted to be a man," Jadzia said, smiling. "So put it in me, Mr. Nerys."
Kira twisted around, keeping her labia just above Jadzia's mouth, and bent
down to insert the dildo in her friend's well- lubricated tunnel. It slipped
As she began to slide it in and out, fascinated at the way the labia curved
around it, Jadzia pulled Kira's hips down and resumed her ministrations.
In minutes the black rod was driving in and out of Jadzia's hole as she madly
humped up at it, while Jadzia's tongue was deep within Kira and her fingers
were sliding across the smaller woman's sensitive button.
Kira came quickly, flooding Jadzia's face with even more fluids, before
slipping off onto a dry area of the couch. But Jadzia continued to buck up at
the dildo. "Don't stop!" she cried. "Fuck that cock into me, Kira! Harder!
Pounding away at her friend, Kira's own opening began to ache again. She slid
around on the cushions until her hole was positioned close to the wildly
waving tip of the dildo. In one motion Kira slid down, driving the rod into
her while her leg and Jadzia's scissored together. Both women took the dildo
in hand, plunging it back and forth between them as they looked lustily into
each other's eyes.
"Ohhhh, yes!" Kira groaned. "This is what I needed!"
"See?" said Jadzia. "There are advantages to being a woman - - as long as you
have a stiff cock around somewhere!"
They came together, each falling back against the couch as wave after wave
pulsed through their exhausted bodies.
A few minutes later, Jadzia gently pulled the dildo from her own sodden hole
and then from Kira's. Dropping it onto the bed, she led her friend into the
The hot jet of water cascaded over their naked bodies, washing away the sweat
and giving them back some energy. Kira, standing behind Jadzia, kissed each
and every spot on her back. As she got to the bottom, Jadzia turned and opened
herself to Kira's probing tongue again. She came quickly and then pulled Kira
up, kissing her deeply, the taste of her own juices mingling with those of
At last they got out, wrapping soft fleecy robes around them.
Jadzia took a few minutes to dry her hair. Kira, whose own short locks dried
quickly, leaned against a wall of the bathroom and watched.
"So you like it, I take it?" Jadzia said to Kira's reflection in the mirror.
Kira blushed. "More than I ever thought I could," she said.
"Mmmm, and this was just the start," Jadzia said, glancing back to check
"What do you mean?"
"Well, if you'd never done it with a woman before, I take it you never had a
man and a woman with you, either?"
"A threesome?" Kira took a step forward. "Jadzia Dax, you've done a
"Dax has," she said. "And foursomes and fivesomes and once, I think, a
twelvesome. It depends on whether you count that Arrekian as one or two. Hey,
when you've been around for centuries, every once in a while you've got to do
something for variety."
Kira cocked her head. "So -- who would you do it with? In a threesome, I mean.
Not -- not the doctor?"
Jadzia laughed. "In his dreams. In MY dreams, though, I would think --
"Commander Sisko? You're kidding! You and he are old buddies. How could he
"DAX and he are old buddies. I realize it might be a bit awkward for him --
but, don't forget, we were close friends. VERY close friends. I've seen his --
equipment. And if you think my dildo was something ..." She let the thought
trail off as they left the small room.
"Wow, this place looks like a hurricane hit it," Kira said, surveying the
ruins of the couch, pillows strewn all over the floor. "Let me help you clean
"Thanks," Jadzia said, already beginning to pick things off the floor. She
dropped a couple of pillows back on the couch and looked around. "Did you
happen to see where I left that thing, speaking of hard black rods?"
Kira giggled. "Benjamin?"
Jadzia smiled. "You know what I mean. I thought I left it on the couch. Maybe
-- oh, here it is." She reached under the couch, flailing about with her hand
until she came out with the dildo.
In the corridor outside Jadzia's quarters, a shimmering green pool of
ectoplasm bubbled and rose, metamorphosing into the familiar figure of the
security chief. Odo brushed a few small, curly hairs off his uniform and began
to walk away, pausing only briefly to look back wistfully at the portal.