Steve Rhodes ..... Steve "HAM" Solo
Ephraim Wanker ... Tim Conway (Peg's Father) (OBI WON)
Carlos ........... Mark Esponoza (Ba Ba Fett)
Fawn ............. Lisa Boyle
Pancake .......... Tiffany Granath
Cousin Eb ........ William Sanderson
Possum Boy ....... John Gerard
Cousin Effie ..... Joey Lauren Adams
Young Kit ........ Patrick Cranshaw
Zemus ............ Bobcat Goldthwait
Ida Mae .......... Linda Blair
Seven ............ Shane Sweet
Married... With Children: A Bundy Star Wars Part 1
Late Friday Night, Al and Peg have gone out for the evening; Actually Peg has
blackmailed Al into taking her out to dinner and dancing at a fancy hotel in
New York, and Al is willing to go along with it as long as it doesn't deal
with sex and he can spend the rest of the evening gambling while Marcy goes
shopping with Peg. (Actually it was a bank convention and Marcy wanted Peg to
keep her company while she got drunk and partied with the single men).
Bud, as usual is dateless and playing with himself (now where did he get
in that habit of poking his hand down his pants on the couch) as he was
preparing to watch Star Wars, a special edition and uncensored. "Now what
had been censored, does Obey Won nail princess Leia?" asked Bud to himself.
Suddenly, as Bud jerked his hand quickly from his pants, the door opens and
in staggers Kelly, she's drunk and barely able to stagger as she giggles and
aims for the couch, she lands next to Bud as she asks, "Budskie, Masterbater
B, my little poo bro, dateless again? Oh my poor baby." Kelly leans over and
kisses Bud on his cheek.
"Kelly, ew, you smell of booze." complains Bud as he pulls Kelly's head up
off his shoulder.
Kelly's out, in a deep drunken stooper as she slobbers on his shoulder.
"Kell? My wonderfully beautiful sister, you have the hottest body that anyone
would want to fuck, including me, and here you are, drunk, wearing this short
skirt, ..." Bud lifts her skirt, noting, "... and not wearing panties, did
you leave them somewhere with a biker gang or did you even bother to wear
Bud looks at Kelly, seeing that she's still in deep unconscious slumber to
his fondling as he runs his fingers up between her legs, feeling her hot and
very wet snatch as he sings to himself, "Oh pussy, pussy, pussy; here kitty,
kitty, Oh I think I‘ve found it!" Kelly moans in her sleep as Bud starts
stroking her snatch, poking his finger into Kelly's cunt as he finger fucks
her with his fingers, bracing himself with his left hand around her shoulder;
after stroking Kelly for a moment, Bud shoves in three fingers, and after
five minutes he shoves his fist into her widening cunt, "Damn Kell! You like
it that large?" Bud thrusts his fist in and out of Kelly's hot pussy, "This
is for all those times you flashed your ass at me, and promising things you
never delivered on, well, how's this?" Bud forces his fist in until his hand
disappears up to his wrist, flicks and twists his fingers as he continues to
wrist fuck his sister; the juices flow and drip off Bud's wrists as he pulls
his hand out and moves it up to unbutton her front buttons of her top.
As the last button is released, Bud relishes the sight as Kelly's breasts
break free, they bounce and giggle slightly as they drop to their relaxed
shape, her nipples erect from Bud's fondling and wrist fucking her pussy
just moments before. Bud feels his sister's breasts, enjoying their hot
flesh as he pays attention to her tits by squeezing each one, then pinching
her nipples as Kelly moans and wriggles within her sleep. Suddenly, the
music blares and the movie starts. "Oh, Star Wars."
Bud sits back on the couch and watches the beginning credits roll past, his
left arm around Kelly, his hand cuffing her left tit as he allows her naked
body to lean over and rest on his lap, her face nuzzling down onto Bud's
crotch and his open pants.
Kelly's hot breath, exhales it's hot moist breath into his pants, bathing
Bud's penis, tickling his manhood to begin growing and rising upward until
his growing erect hard-on rubs Kelly's face.
Kelly reacts normally (for her) and locks onto Bud's cock, she takes it into
her mouth like a baby's bunky and starts sucking on his hot cock.
Bud stares at the movie as he feels Kelly sucking on his organ, he is
enjoying it immensely as he watches the Rebel Ship come under fire from the
great Imperial Cruiser.
"Hurry up Princess, hide, Old Darth is going to serve you to his
stormtroopers and rape your ass." screams Bud as he is imagining the great
events, as Kelly sucks and licks his cock and balls as she sleeps and
snorkels within his groin.
(Within Kelly's mind of sleep)
"Princess! Princess Kelly Orgasmic! Quickly princess, dismount your toy
droid, I have to get you to the escape shuttle."
Kelly looks up at the Captain of the Rebel Pleasure Craft, she then looks
back at the trash can shaped R-U-2 (pronounced 'ARE-YOU-TOO") as it continues
to shove it's vibrator into the young sixteen year old Princess of the Planet
Orgasderon. "Stop pumping you little trash can so I can get off of
The gold plated android, laying beneath Kelly, has a sixteen inch golden rod
that Kelly has shoved up inside her cunt, it is dripping with lubricant as
she lifts off of the shaft, leaving it vibrating loudly. "That's C-3-P-Oh
"Oh, yeah, sure, what-ever." complains Kelly as she struts naked over to a
pile of clothing on the deck where the two droids had attacked and stripped
her before they raped her several hours before, which four hours later has
turned into a sexually driven orgy with Kelly doing the driving.
The captain watches, his mouth watering as his penis pops a woodie and pokes
his pants outward, as Kelly stretches upward on her tiptoes, lifting the
white transparent garment over her head and then dropping it down to fall
around her body, poking her arms and head through the appropriate holes. The
Captain ogles her fine figure that is clearly visible through the white
silken clothing. "Princess, why wear clothing so transparent?"
"To drive men's minds wild with lust, to control their minds and support me
on my political issues, and to just find the biggest cock that rises to the
occasion." explains Kelly as she walks up to the Captain and flicks his cock
with her hand as she brushes his bulging pants, "... and that is why you are
the Captain of my Cruise ship."
"We don't have time Princess, the Evil Darth Al is about to board the ship,
the Imperial Cruiser Old-Red is grappling onto our ship at this very moment,
as though the Captain of that ship was at a Mall Sale or something."
"Gripping the ship like this?" asks Kelly as she reaches into the Captain's
pants and takes hold of his erect cock.
"O' yeah Princess, just like that!" grimaces the Captain as Kelly's fingers
grip hard around his hard-on.
Kelly releases her lust grip and turns toward the hatch, "Quickly then
Captain, they must have found out that we have the secret plans of their
Death Mall; here!, ..." Princess Kelly bends over and places a CD-disk with
the plans of the super-mall up R-U-2's butt crack insert.
"Whoo whoo" R-U-2 whistles in clicks of binary code as it reacts to the cold
disk sliding up his robotic droid ass.
Kelly turns and orders the Captain, "Jettison the cargo of porn tapes before
my daddy finds out!" orders Kelly as she leaves her quarters and heads for
the escape pods, followed by her rape droid R-U-2 and C-3-P-O droid sex
The ship shudders and vibrates, throwing Kelly against one wall as she admits
aloud to herself, "This ship is getting fucked harder than I did." Kelly's
breasts jiggle wildly as the droids and the security guards get hardons, "God
I am getting horny, ... Kelly looks at the droids, "...again." says Kelly as
she gathers herself.
Kelly rushes the two Droids onto the escape pod and is about to enter the
pod when R-U-2 accidentally pushes C-3-P-Oed's button that shoots his penis
assembly out to it's full length and it slams into the launch button; Kelly
jumps back, just escaping the door slamming shut and stares at the long
golden penis rod gleaming in the pod's window as she comments to herself,
"He never got that big for me!"
The escape pod shoots past the imperial Mall Cruiser as one of the gunners
takes aim, but is stopped by one of his officers, "Wait, don't waste the
shot, there are no customers aboard that pod, it must have jacked-off by
Princess Kelly's skirt is caught in the escape pods hatch as she pulls and
strains, then a 'RIP' as she falls on her ass, her skirt ripping up to her
waste, "Hey! Heey!, this dress was one of a kind; wait a minute! Hey! this
slit looks good, makes my legs look sharp!"
Down the corridor Kelly hears soldiers, "We have the passengers except for
one, a Slut from Orgasderon; Darth Al thinks she has the plans for the Mall
"Yeah! Well, he thinks he's got the biggest cock in the universe too." adds
the other Storm Trooper.
"You know, this slut is suppose to be the Ambassador of Orgaderon." Snorts
"She's that passenger, I saw the lists; she's really an effective senator,
she gets all her bills passed." says one Trooper as he peers down the
passageway into the storage room as Kelly leans back into the shadows,
raising her weapon to the ready.
The sergeant explains to the corporal, "She got her bills passed by fucking
and blowing them through her opposition; there's not a senator that will
refuse to fuck a teenage girl that's underage and illegal."
"That's why they keep their mouths shut, if they go against her she'll have
them arrested for child molestation." says one trooper as he stops, lifts his
helmet, wipes his brow and adds, "God, I remember her video 'DICKS and DYKES'
and I'm horny."
"Makes the suit tighter doesn't it corporal?" smirks the sergeant. as he
steps through the hatch into the cargo section.
As the trooper in the lead searches the corners for signs of hiding rebels,
Kelly steps from the shadows and is backlit by the over head lights; the
trooper looks up in time to see the slender blond in transparent white gown,
her body encased and bathed in the light as he stares at her boobies, he
comments, "Boobies sir! we found her."
Kelly fires her gun and the trooped grabs his groin and drops. "Oops!" says
Kelly, "Sorry!" she quickly turns to run and is stunned by the Corporal, her
body is bathed in a blue light and drops to the deck unconscious, her gown
falling up over her butt, exposing her bare butt cheeks as the sergeant and
corporal approach with their weapons drawn.
"Careful sir, she might be baiting us." warns the corporal as he keeps his
weapon trained on the young girl.
The sergeant puts his weapon away as he unsnaps his body armor plating at his
pants level. "That's okay corporal, the weapons are for shut'en, this gun is
for fun." says the alien with stripes and a huge triple shafted penis with
rough bumps and lumps that run along the entire shaft as all three become
erect, standing hard in his hand and lengthening to 24-hard cock inches.
"So that's what a Garidian cock looks like; Oh my god, you're not going
to ..." comments the corporal as he watches his sergeant use his hands to
grip Kelly's legs, turning her over onto her back, then spreading her legs
into a wide open 'V', gripping her ass in both hands and pulling her limp
body up to his not so limp tri-poled erections. Balancing Kelly on his one
big hand behind her back, he uses his right hand to push his one shaft
against her anas, then he forces it past her resistant small opening as she
moans from the pain of entry as he forces his first ten inches deep into
her ass; then, once he feels it securely planted inside Kelly's tight ass,
he inserts his second cock into Kelly's pussy, not so resisting, but tight
from the size of girth of his three inches thick cock; then he takes his
thick prick, shoves it up along side second penis, and then forces entry
into the already filled cunt.
The Sergeant grins unseen inside his helmet as he looks around at the
Corporal, "Okay Corporal, have the private stand guard, then get your
mono-dick and face fuck this little bitch senator of Orgasderon before we
turn this hot little honey slut of she-human over to Darth." The sergeant
begins lifting the still limp body of Kelly up as he takes her body to the
top of his cock heads, then he slams her downward, driving all three-twenty
four inch cocks into two holes until her ass cheeks slam against his balls.
The sergeant begins lifting and slamming Kelly up and down faster and faster
as he feels his penis' begin expanding, lengthening and as Kelly starts
moaning in pain and pleasure as she feels her cunt clamp hard around his
The corporal runs back to see what's wrong with the sergeant as he hears
groans of agony from her tightening cunt. "Sarge! what's wrong sergeant?"
Before the corporal can react, he feels his pelvic cover pop open and a hand
gripping his swollen penis, then a pair of hot lips engulfing his whole cock
as he feels if traveling down Kelly's throat as she deep throats his whole
"How can she be conscience?"
Resting Kelly's body on his lap, his appendages impaled inside her the
sergeant lifts his helmet and scratches his head, then replies, "Must be
* * *
Deep in the sand of Tangerine, the faming planet and wasteland outpost of
skullduggery and villainy.
The escape pod is twisted and half buried in the sand as two droid pull
themselves out of the wreckage, "I told you to turn left you little garbage
"Bleep! Beep! Whistle, fart!! Crap! Like hell you big over sized wiener,"
bleeps the R-U-2 (pronounced 'ARE-YOU-TOO") droid as it heads off towards
the distant canyons, "...you can't navigate worth a crap!; I'm going to the
canyons for a quickie oil lube."
"That's it you little FAG CAN, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have got to
thrust into that little bitch; Oh! I could just slap you." yells the golden
droid as he turns, looks around and sees a flash on the distance horizon,
"Oh! an Ice Cream truck! OVER HERE! Woo whoo!"
* * *
At the Bundy Ranch in Wanker County on the planet Tangerine.
"Bud! have you got those droids repaired on the north forty?" asks Bud's
"Ah Eb! I ain't ta hanker'n to fix'n those droids; they''n is cheap and
"Tis why you need ta fix'n dem, now get!" scolds Eb as he chases Bud from the
"Now Eb, you know the boy has his heart on fly'n." Ebby reminds her husband
(and brother, remember that this is Wanker.)
"Ain't fly'n that boy has on his mind, it's those rubber dolls he's a wait'n
fer at the post office." explains Eb as he turns his attention to his still,
"Now where is the mash?"
"Now why would a grown boy be wait'n fer a rubber doll?" ponders aunt Ebby as
she pulls out her computerized washing board.
* * *
Aboard the Imperial Mall Star Cruiser
Down the corridor, surround by six imperial storm troopers, all smiling,
walks Princess Kelly Orgasmic, her smudge gown still transparent and
revealing to all her goodies.
Dressed in pathetic gray pin strip coat and slacks, Governor Tarpin waits,
ogling Kelly's body as she approaches, "Damn Al! That girl is a blond!"
"Yes, and my amplifier visor has been locked onto her hooters since she
cornered the passageway." notes Al Darth, Dark Landlord of the Sith & Sears
Mall networks across the galaxy.
Kelly comes to stand in front of the governor and Al, her boobies shake and
stop just a moment later. "So! I thought I caught the smell of Banker's
clothes, I bet you have your sick assistant Marcy of Rhodes here to blow your
cock and to toot your horn Governor TAR-SPIT!"
"That's TARPIN! And No miss silly, this is Al of the Sith ..." says the
Governor who is immediately ignored and interrupted.
"Yes, Al Darth of the Sick Pears; well Al, you'll never suck-seed on
Orgasderon, we have no need for your shoe stores or any of your cheap
clothes." exclaimed Kelly defiantly, her breasts also jiggling defiantly.
Al, dressed in his all black leather suit and black mask with breather,
raises his hand and pokes his finger under Kelly's nose. "You little slut,
the way you and your people go around naked all the time, and those orgies,
that will stop when Sears moves onto your planet."
Kelly wrinkles her nose as she pulls away from Al's black gloves, "Oh
Pee-hew! old dry pussy juice! Don't you ever wash?"
"Ah? Wash?" Al smells his glove, then pokes it through a small opening in
his helmet and scratches his ear, then pulls it out and sniffs at it with
his helmet sensor.
"Ewe!" smirks Kelly as she backs up into a guard, the guard's hand grabs her
ass cheek and squeezes/ Kelly looks around at the guard, smiles as he runs
his finger up her butt crack, "Later, in my cell, and bring that finger, ..."
Kelly fumbles in her instructions as she thinks of what she has said, then
adds, "Ah, ... bring your thingy also."
Governor Tarpin waves his hand and orders the guards, "Take this Orgasderon
bitch to her cell, and remove all dangerous items from her.
The guards snap to attention and march Kelly down the main passageway to the
cruisers brig. "I wonder if there are more like her on her home world of
Orgasderon?" asks Tarpin as he turns his attention to Al, Lord of the Sith &
"Leave her to me Governor, I'll get those plans from her. she's hidden them
somewhere." wheezes Al as he turns, swinging his cape until it whacks the
governor and exits stage left.
* * *
Meanwhile on Tangerine
"Uncle Eb, these mexicans don't have anything of use, and how do we know that
they didn't steal them from other ranchers?" complains Bud as looks at each
droid the short illegal aliens bring out for them to purchase.
"Now Bud, these little folk would do what we haven't." explains Eb as he
examine a tall golden droid.
"That's what I mean, the last ones we stole only lasted a month." yells Bud
as he lifts the dark brown cloak to look at the bare female ass it was
"Only six pecos my friend, and my sister will fuck you blind." offers another
alien standing nearby.
"How do I know she's worth it?" asks Bud as he barters to get the price down.
"Master 'B' I have personally tasted my sister, why I even fucked her this
morning and she has a fine tight and wet pussy."
Throwing his hands into the air, Bud turns from the two illegal aliens with
their used wares, "I want real pussy, not one wore out and filled with
The little brown cloaked illegal pulls his weapons out as the others now run
for cover as he shouts, "Gringo! Are you INS!"
Bud turns with his hands up, gesturing, "Woo! now wait a minute, I'm not INS!
I'm sure your sister is wonderful."
Eb runs up and offers the little alien, "Now we don't want any trouble here,
we only want good droids for the north forty and two for our brothel; we can
use your sister after-all, ..." Eb looks at Bud, "The boy needs something
more than rubber."
"Uncle Eb!" yells Bud as he turns and walks back towards the underground
Eb watches Bud walking away a moment then yells after him, "Now Master
baiter Bib! you get those droids and check them out, and give those aliens
"Bud waves his hands in acknowledgement as he approaches the small droid,
"Okay you little trasher, can you probe aliens?"
"Tweet, tweet, twiddle la diddle with the best of them." replies R-U-2.
Bud looks at the slender C-3-PU, "Hey, golden rod."
C-3-PU turns and waves, swinging his golden vibrating penetrator in his left
"Okay, that'll do, I'll check you two over with the alien bitches and then
you can escort them to the slut house."
Eb turns as he hands the last bunch of counterfeit money to the little
illegal aliens for their slave items, then adds a box of falsified ID papers
to allow them to get free medicare and food stamps; then he turns to see Bud
leaving with his two new droids and the three illegal alien females, he also
notices that Bud had his hands on the one young girls ass, her robe pulled up
exposing her bare ass as he fingers her butt. "I don't want ya see'n that old
desert fart, he's a child molestor."
Bud waves again in acknowledgment as he continues to feel the young twelve
year old up, commenting to himself, "Looks who's the child molester, Uncle
Eb screws his sister and has several kids, as a matter of fact, the entire
Wanker county is child molesters and incesters."
* * *
On board the Artificial World of the Death Mall
Governor Tarpin sits at the end of a long table with his sub-ordinates seated
along both sides as they listen to the Salesman speak of his latest poll
results, "The Death Mall has surpassed it's design flaws, the latest polls
indicate that we can under sale the entire Orgasderon Christmas season this
year, those little naked children of Orgasderon will be shamed into wearing
A booming voice rings out as Al Darth, Lord of the Sith&Sears enters,
trailing his long black cape, wearing a black helmet enclosed with a black
breather by Sears and his own beer breath, "No mall will ever beat the power
of the Force of a true salesman, it will take true belief and experience to
win this market on Orgasderon."
The lead salesman stands, embarrassed by this ancient old football player,
"Just because you wear an out dated football helmet, smell of beer and belch
louder than any of us; you can not wield the power of this mall station."
Al lifts his hand, hiding his left hand inside his cape, he twists his hands
in the air as though he is strangling the salesman's, in reality, and hidden
by the cape, he grips the salesman's nuts with his sears pliers and twists
them into a knot.
The salesman grimaces as he rises from the chair, "You feel the power of the
force, it's more real than your simple work of man."
The salesman starts to speak when Al quickly lets go of the man's nuts; Al
turns around quickly, his cape fluttering over the salesman, the cape hides
Al's wrench, knocking him out. The salesman collapses to the floor as Al
concludes aloud, "Never underestimate the power of the Force of a Sears
wrench and the Sith."
* * *
Back on Tangerine
Bud, laying naked across an eleven and twelve year old girls, after having a
wild orgy all night as he and the robots probed each young slave girl, wakes
with a powerful smell on his breath, "O'god! is that Tequila or pussy I have
on my tongue?"
C-3-PU looks up from three more young girls, one with her legs in the air
with his finger shoved inside her pussy as his digit turns as a high
vibrating speed as he continues to trust it in and out to her moans and
screams, he looks at Bud, asking "Master Bait Pee, anything wrong?"
"No, not really, where's that little trash can friend of yours?" Bud as he
stands up, naked with a pre-teen girl lip locked to his cock as she continues
to suck on him like a young baby feeding.
"He's probably taken off to get a-hold of someone called Obi-something?
Obi-fart? Obi-wand? Obi-Something." explains C-3-PU as he follows Bud out the
door of the whore house, one leg in his pants and the girl still sucking on
his cock as she clings to his free leg.
Bud stops, looks down at the girl as he now wants to pull his other pants leg
on, "Look sweat ass, I really need my pants Oooon, Oh crapper!" yells Bud as
he grips the girls head and starts thrusting his cock down her throat, then
forces it into her as deep as he can and shoots his load, ""Dam! Now that's
the Power of the Force."
"Na! it's just a good blow!" exclaims C-3-PU as he climbs into the small MG
sports car, "Com'on Master, we have to find R-U-2, he can really be a problem
(To be continued in PART 2, IN SEARCH OF R-U-2, the Bundy Star Wars Saga)