G.I. Joe: G.I. Joe Vs The Third Reich Part 2 (no sex)
by Tyval ([email protected])
Mlle. Marie and her partisan force along with Sgt. Rock and a handful of men
from Easy co. are trapped by a German She-Devil in a farmhouse. But does
Mlle. Marie have a connection to Major 'Frau' Karla Hoffman? And what of the
Joes from 2006?
Toul, France; 1944: For the 20th time that day Major 'Frau' Karla Hoffman
cursed Hitler, the Nazi's, and her luck. Karla was a typical stereotype
German beauty; 5' 10" slender, 38DD's, blonde hair in twin braids, blue eyes.
She was currently commanding 200 German troops backed by 5 Panther V tanks.
Her opposition was only about a half dozen American soldiers, and a dozen or
so French partisans holed up in farmhouse, a shed, and what was left of a
barn. The ground between her forces and the stubborn resistance was littered
with the bodies of 20 resistance fighters and a nearly equal number of her
They had been caught in the open in a rare mistake by a German squad. Only a
couple of miles away when the shooting started, Major Hoffman and her men
soon trapped them and a squad of men from the American's famed 'Easy Co.' who
had the misfortune to also be nearby. Major Hoffman had the power to finish
them in minutes. But what Karla cursed the most was that she had seen who was
leading the partisan's. Her oldest, dearest friend, and lover, Mlle. Marie.
Karla and Marie had know each other since they were babies. Karla's father,
a German Major in the first World War, had fallen in love with France and
stayed after the war ended. Karla and Marie grew up next door to each other,
lifelong best friends as they were the only 2 tomboys in the village. They
always played together, got in trouble together. Where you found one, the
other was never more than a few feet away.
At age 9 Karla saved Marie's life when she fell into the river. After that
they got even closer, becoming more like sisters than best friends. At 16
they became lovers. But the world changed rapidly after that. Even then Karla
saw the monster that was Hitler and was horrified when in early 1939 her
father accepted a commission in the new German army as an Oberst (Colonel).
The 17 year old girls were heartbroken at the separation. Karla tried to
write often, but she was placed into a military school for women. Within a
week her brilliance was noticed. Only the great Rommel had ever made higher
scores than Karla had as she excelled in shooting, driving, tactics, and all
aspects of military training! She also learned even more about the horror of
the Nazi's! In secret she joined the 'White Rose' *an organization of young
people opposed to the Nazi's. She was lucky to escape without being exposed
as many were murdered by the SS.
That still didn't stop Karla's resolve as she joined another group that
helped smuggle Jews out of Germany. Karla personally saved 100 people, 23
would later be re-captured in France, but died without exposing her. Marie
actually saw combat first. France fell, the Vichy was established, but
Marie's father would not surrender, nor would she. Despite his best attempts
to keep her out of it, Marie's father quickly saw that Marie could out shoot
and out fight any of his rag-tag resistance fighters. She quickly became his
second in command and took over when he was wounded and thought dead*.
It wasn't until 1943 when she was 21 that Captain Karla Hoffman was given
command of a unit operating in France. 'Frau' Hoffman soon became unjustly
feared and called a 'She-Devil'. Her problem was that she was too damn good.
She knew France, knew the countryside, and soon became the best at fighting
partisans and allied commando units already operating in France.
Unlike Ilsa, Helga, Hilda, and other 'She-Devil's' Karla didn't deserve the
label. Her heart was with France. Karla hated the Nazi's, hated the Swastika.
The villages she was put in charge of suffered no atrocities as she made it
clear, even shooting one of her own men, that they were not to rape, loot, or
kill anyone. Karla only fought those that shot at her and even then used only
But things happen in war. When a French prison was destroyed freeing dozens
of murderers and maniacs some ended up in Karla's territory. Three French
child killers took control of a school taking dozens of French children
hostage, Karla saved them, and hanged the 3 would be killers. This branded
her a monster. Two more hardcore criminals from that prison also ended up on
Fortunately Marie found out that now Major Karla Hoffman was still a good
woman. Mlle. Marie was operating in Karla's territory. Karla, almost by
accident, captured her. A SS man was dispatched to interrogate and then
execute her the following day. But that night Karla clocked one of her own
guards from behind, leaving a beret, and led Marie out of the underground
"This is twice I owe you my life," Marie smiled sadly at her.
"You would do the same for me," Karla smiled, handing her a pistol and
The 2 women hugged then Marie had to run. A few months later Karla again
captured Marie. This time Marie was imprisoned in the tower of an old estate.
This time Karla actually had to kill one of her own men. Unlocking the door,
finger to lips, she handed Marie 100' of rope and helped her secure it.
"My hero," Marie hugged her, "Three times I now owe you."
"Please, stay alive, for me," Karla hugged her back," Hey, I'll try to use
our 'secret code' to warn you if I see you again."
Their secret code was actually just morse, practised with mirrors and
flashlights. But their pet names for each other would tip the other one off.
Marie was 'twig', Karla was 'wiener'.
But now they faced each other yet again. This time with too many witnesses
for Karla to just 'let them go'. Major Hoffman had managed to get a signal to
Marie without being noticed by pretending to apply make-up. She had asked
Marie if there was a basement or tunnel or some way to escape or hide. There
wasn't and Karla wasn't sure how much longer she could delay the attack
without causing suspicion.
* * *
While none of 'Frau' Hoffman's men noticed the signal, Sgt. Rock of Easy Co.
did. His battle-hardened eyes grew wide with rare surprise when he saw Marie
answer it! He had known Marie for over a year himself, having met her in
commando raids a year before D-Day. The hard-nosed Rock respected her spirit
and fighting ability, was even somewhat in love with her. The surprise of
possible collaboration with the scourge of German troops and the enemy was
unthinkable and was evident in his face!
"Okay, what the hell was that all about?" Rock whispered, trying not to
expose her to the remaining partisans.
"Hard to explain, we must do it in private," Mlle. Marie whispered back, "I'm
not a collaborator if you are worried about that."
Rock gave a nod of relief. He was embarrised he'd thought Marie was a traitor
even for a second.
"Bulldozer, you're in charge," Rock said, "Wildman, take the BAR to the north
side of the house."
Sgt. Rock had been on patrol with Wildman, Bulldozer, Little Sure Shot,
Ice Cream Soldier, Four Eyes, and Jackie Johnson when they had heard the
shooting. When Rock saw Marie, and she was easy to spot, he sent Little Sure
Shot, the best runner, back for Easy Co. while he led the rest to try and
reinforce Marie. The quick appearance of Major Hoffman quicky turned the
situation from hard to impossible.
Even if the 'combat happy joes of Easy' showed up they were hopelessly
outnumbered and with 5 Panther's outgunned. Only a close range bazooka shot
from the rear could take out a Panther. He had wondered why they weren't
It wasn't easy finding a safe spot to talk. The house was small and even with
8 partisan's, (the other 4 were in the shed), and 6 American's it seemed
crowded. They finally settled on the kitchen. The 3 partisan's in the room
couldn't speak any English.
"Okay, what's up with that little message you and that German bitch
exchanged?" Rock asked.
Whatever answer Rock was expecting it wasn't the hard slap across the face he
"That bitch out there just happens to be my best friend who has risked her
ass to save mine so many times I'm losing count," Marie angriy retorted.
"What? She Devil 'Frau' Hoffman," Rock was astonished, "She has killed lots
of men, hangs your people."
"Always in combat and those she hanged were criminal's, murderer's," Marie's
eyes flashed as she had checked out the facts.
"The courts don't see it that way," Rock said, "She's already been tried and
convicted in absentia."
"Sergent, Frank, do you trust me at all?" Marie was suddenly very soft,
"Major Hoffman, Karla, is a good woman. I could not lo-uh, like a Nazi. I
could not be friends with a monster. Even now she is riskng her life for
me. For ME! By not attacking us when she could crush us in minutes she is
exposing herself to possible court-martial and execution, if she is lucky
and the SS don't get involved."
Sgt. Rock was stunned at this revelation. He had been killing German's for so
long he almost didn't think of them as human. That Marie of all people, who
had been fighting them even longer had one as a friend was even more amazing.
"I, need to think," Rock said.
He didn't have time. Karla had stalled as long as she could. A SS Captain had
arrived on the scene. While she technically out-ranked him, Karla knew that
was an illusion. If he didn't attack he would take her command, and arrest
her. Saying a silent prayer that she could maybe get to Marie and somehow get
her out later again, 'Frau' Hoffman ordered the attack.
A tank shell blew up the shed, instantly killing the 4 men inside. A second
shell ripped through the kitchen. Sgt. Rock's legendary luck saved him again
as the 3 Frenchmen inside were blown to bits, while both Marie and Rock were
hurled into the next room with nothing, but a few splinters and minor
"Looks like this is it," Wildman said as he cut down 4 German's with the BAR.
Rock grabbed his thompson, running to the nearest window when the attack
suddenly stopped. Eyes on both sides grew wide at the bizarre sight that
"Yo Joe!!" Duke and Sgt. Fury yelled at the top of their lungs.
A tank, unlike any seen, 2 armed humvee's, and a total of 30 pissed off Joes
with advanced 21st century weapons! The odds had changed!
Wnd of Chapter 2:
Yes, I know, another chapter without sex. Please be patient. Chapter 3 should
satisfy you! Partly inspired by B-movie queen Misty Mundae in Mummy Raider!