Disclaimer: G.I. Joe is owned by Hasbro, Devil's Due comics, or whoever owns
the comic now. Sgt. Rock, Easy Co., and Mlle. Marie are owned by DC comics.
Nick Fury and A.I.M. are owned by Marvel comics. Gen. Tomahawk is the same
man as Gen. Hawk for those who may be confused. He was Hawk as a Brigadier
General and Tomahawk as a Major General which is a higher rank. This is
parody, not to be taken seriously.
Summary: When Hi-Tech defuses a Cobra weapon wrong several members of the
team find themselves in WW2 facing a German She-Devil. Or is she?
Rated NC-17 for F/F sex
G.I. Joe: G.I. Joe Vs The Third Reich Part 1
by Tyval ([email protected],net)
This was supposed to have been HIS team. He had been the original choice to
lead the team of elite anti-terrorist commando's known as G.I. Joe. Instead
he had been regulated to a desk job for years. But now, after years of
waiting Sgt. Nick Fury Jr. finally rode into the secret HQ. Once there he
was ushered straight into the office of General Tomahawk, head of G.I. Joe.
"I am pleased to finally meet you Sgt. Fury," Gen. Tomahawk said after the
official salutes, "I am a great admirer of your father. One of the most
decorated men back in WW2."
"Thank you sir, but you forgot Audie Murphy and Sgt. Frank Rock," Sgt. Fury
He had heard all of this before. Being the son of a living legend, a man who
even now walked among the leaders of America as well as the 'capes' who
seemed to be everywhere. But the 'capes' were always dealing with something
big. His father's organization S.H.I.E.L.D. was always busy with Hydra and
the like. When it came to fighting terrorists and smaller syndicates like
Cobra that were too much for law-enforcement, but too small for S.H.I.E.L.D.,
America called on the G.I. Joe team.
The General continued talking, but Fury's mind was elsewhere, impatient for
action. He then snapped back as the General finished.
"I know you were supposed to have been team leader from the start son," the
General sincerely said, "I'm sorry, the top thought you were too green. I'm
really glad they finally let you on the team, but you need to remember that
you're new here, they've been fighting together for a few years now. If you
are anything like your old man you may butt heads with quite a few of them.
I hope that doesn't happen. These are some of the finest men and women I
have ever known, and I would hope for the best."
* * *
Sgt. Fury knew that the worst would probably happen as soon as he walked into
the barracks. He had been warned that because of the small size of this elite
force, perhaps only 200 counting support, that lower ranking Warrant Officers
shared enlisted quarters. The 5 women on the team shared a small house. It
didn't surprise him then that Warrant Officers Flint and Wild Bill were
paying cards with Gung Ho, Shipwreck, and Clutch.
The stares he drew of course, he knew would spell trouble. Rank didn't mean
much on the Joe team, most were various petty officers, his rank, E-8, Master
Sergeant, however was the same as Duke, the unofficial team leader, and the
man who had been given his place on the team. Most of the men thought he was
on the team because of his father. That wasn't so. He had fought in the
Middle East and had 120 confirmed kills (the number was actually 4 times
that). Nick Fury Jr. had been through more tests and trials than any man
applying for the Joe team and passed each one.
All it took was one comment by Steeler, " Wonder if he expects Captain
America to save his ass like his daddy does" for the fight to start. Sgt.
Fury went down, but took a dozen Joes with him before the fight was broken
* * *
Over in the house the girls shared, called the 'Doll House' by Shipwreck,
Breaker, Clutch, and the other, more chauvinistic members of the team, things
were just as wild, but in a different way. Jinx and Scarlett were sparring
with Lady Jaye and Bombstrike nude. Lady Jaye and Bombstrike were no slouch
when it came to hand to hand combat, but Scarlett and Jinx were experts in
martial arts. The 4 women were getting turned on as they made contact with
each other again and again.
After practice the 4 women took a soapy shower together. Innocent seeming
washing of each others backs just made all 4 of them hornier. A little
horseplay ensued with towel snapping. The slight pain was getting them even
"Anyone up for nude oil twister," Cover Girl called from the living room
where lesbian BDSM porno played 24/7 on their HD big screen tv when they were
"If the guys knew we were doing stuff like this there would be hell to pay,"
Lady Jaye grinned as she reached for the baby oil, "Just the tv would get us
"Don't ask, don't tell," Scarlett grinned.
Only the ninja master Snake Eyes knew they were all lesbians, and he wouldn't
tell, even if he could speak. They covered themselves by flirting with some
of the nicer guys and pretending to like others. The girls started oiling
each other up. Jinx really loved Scarlett's big tits as she flicked her
tongue over the redheads hard pink nipples.
Cover Girl, more of a voyeur, would do the spinning as usual.
"What are the stakes," Alyssa/Bombstrike asked.
"Loser gets whipped," Jinx smiled.
"What, that only makes me want to lose," Alyssa giggled.
"That's the problem," Alison/Lady Jaye smiled, "We all do."
It didn't take long for the squirming giggling oiled up girls to end up
tangled together on the floor. Wrestling began soon after, Scarlett, Jinx,
and Lady Jaye ganged up on Alyssa and soon had her pinned and giggling as
the 3 women played with her tits and rubbed her shaved pussy.
"I give up, I give up," Alyssa squealed, "Uncle! Auntie! Eeeeeee!"
"She needs to be punished," Jinx smiled.
"Break out the whips and dildo's," Cover Girl said, watching from the couch.
Then the phone rang along with all their pagers. That meant that something
was up. Something big.
"Damnit!," Scarlett screamed.
"This royally sucks," Lady Jaye huffed.
Cover Girl didn't want to, but answered the phone. There was a mission, and
they were soldiers above all else.
* * *
General Tomahawk sighed. Sgt. Fury had been on-base less than an hour and
already there was trouble. Since this command was rather 'unique' incidents
like this were, by necessity, overlooked. In a normal command there would be
disciplinary measures, the Joe team however had to avoid tribunal's and court
marshals unless death or treason was involved.
Fights between team members were rare since they had shared so many dangerous
missions together, and before then because of the professionalism each man
showed. But they did happen, and had in the past. A new man, the man who had
originally been chosen to lead the team,well, this one would have to be
dropped too. He especially needed Fury for the new mission he had just
Most of the team was on-base, but there were always a few men on leave.
A.I.M., (Advanced Idea Mechanics), had teamed with Cobra for some new
project. Usually, big league A.I.M. would never even think about lowering
itself to work with middleweight Cobra, but they had suffered major
financial losses due to 'capes' of late and needed the money. Gen. Tomahawk
needed Sgt. Fury for both reasons.
Reason one was a new hi-tech solar-powered M-1 A-1 Abrams tank that they had
just received from G.O.L.D. Sgt. Bazooka, his best tank driver, was on leave,
and Sgt. Fury was the only other man fully qualified on this particular
model. Cover Girl and some of the others could do the job, but Fury was best
qualified. And if A.I.M. was involved he wanted someone with intimate
knowledge and actual experience in dealing with them.
The briefing began. Gen. Tomahawk walked into the room immediately getting
everyone's attention. He sighed as he saw cuts, bruises, a broken nose, and
a few black eyes, including one on Sgt. Fury. 'What the hell,' he thought as
he saw that the women, who normally all looked like models, also seemed to
have mussed hair. The maps and photo computer screen was behind him.
"Gentlemen, and ladies," Gen. Tomahawk began, "This mission is shaping up to
be one of the most difficult we have ever encountered. For one thing, its
going to be on foreign soil; France to be exact."
"Should just let Cobra have the damn country," someone, he didn't see who,
but suspected Sgt. Slaughter said. (it was)
"I know how most of you feel," Gen. Tomahawk held up his hand," Years of
socialism have turned them into the cowards and spineless worms they are
today. (laughter from the Joes interrupt) But at one time they were great.
Because of 'strained' relationships the U.S. military can't do this job.
That means if falls into our laps so that a bunch of 'rouge mercs' can be
blamed if we fail or run afoul of French authorities. And there is another
complication, A.I.M. is suspected to be involved with Cobra on this one."
A few mutters broke out, mostly excitement. A.I.M. was heavyweight in would
be world conquerors along with Hydra and the Maggia. Patiently Gen. Tomahawk
gave them a few minutes.
"We are fortunate that we have a new team member who has fought A.I.M. and
has long studied them and their methods," Gen. Tomahawk said, referring to
Sgt. Fury," On-screen."
A map of France appeared, then zeroed in on a spot in eastern France outside
a town called Toul (that was west of Nancy which had been made famous by the
'Kelly's Heroes' movie). Lot's of good men had died in that part of France in
the Second World War. Enhanced again, and then several more times it showed a
small newly built factory with wayyyyy more security than it should have.
Inside the compound, the inside man had managed to send a lot of pictures
showing blue-suited Cobra's with the yellow clad A.I.M. members.
Sgt. Fury, shook his head at the A.I.M. guys still wearing those ridicules
1960's box-hats that offered no protection and limited their vision. Even
the Cobra's weren't stupid enough to wear something like that. There were
numerous pics showing the location of anti aircraft and defensive gun
emplacements. Whoever the spy was, he was high ranking enough to go
Except the actual project itself it seemed. There was only one, ill-defined
picture of that. The picture showed Dr. Mindbender in some deep conversation
with A.I.M. members. Behind them was the device they were workng on.
"This is our target," Gen. Tomahawk said, "We haven't determined what it is,
but with A.I.M. involved, and all that security it can't be good."
"Sir, is it possible to enhance that image by 213x pixels," Hi-Tech asked.
Not surprisingly, even the tech savvy members of the team didn't know what he
was talkng about. Gen. Tomahawk gave the computer the command anyway.
"Holy," Hi-Tech cried out standing up.
"You - know what this is?" Gen. Tomahawk asked.
"I-I never thought anyone would be crazy, or supid enough to try this,"
Hi-Tech said, obviously excited, "It's just theory, Dr. Hawkins even says
it's impossble despite what some 'capes' claim."
"Please, get to the point, and tell us what it is," Gen. Tomahawk said
"That is a trans-diminsional, time-space flux continuim capacitor," Hi-Tech
said, "In layman's terms, a 'time machine'."
Groans, and 'Oh, come ons' burst out.
"No, seriously," Hi-tech tried to be heard, "It makes sense. What would
happen if Cobra supplied German Troops with the weaponry we have now."
"At that time in the war, when our guys were in that area, the Axis were
already beaten down to the point that V-1's, V-2's, and Messerschmitts were
too late," Lt. Falcon chimed in.
"Ah, but just think what only a handfull of Stealth's could do," Hi-Tech
said, "Just one could wipe out an entire squadran of 'flying forts'. Apache,
and Cobra gun copters could maul a battalion; add our tanks, humvee's, and
Bradley's. Hell, even a nuke."
"This is all just speculation," Sgt. Fury said standing up, "Look, I've
fought A.I.M., hell, I've even met a lot of 'capes'. One of the men I met
was the one that calls himself Questar. He claims he's travelled in time,
more than a few times, and he told me that history can't be changed. He
claims he tried to save Lincoln and couldn't, even with powers and future
knowledge. So even IF, and it's a big IF, Cobra could travel through time,
they couldn't change anything."
"And what if he's wrong," Hi-Tech said, "Can we afford to take that chance?"
"We can't," Gen. Tomahawk said," In fact, even if you are wrong about what
this thing is, we can't let Cobra get it up and running. Because whatever it
is, it won't be good."
* * *
In a strange twist of irony the bulk of the G.I. Joe team was to come in on
gliders much as some troops in WW2 had used. Thanks to better tech theirs
were suprior to the ones used 60+ years before. Air power they would have
plenty of, armor would be limited by nessecity. Only the experimental M-1
A-2 Abrams, and 3 humvee's could be smuggled in/accidently dropped from
The plan was relatively simple, full frontal assault, in and out as fast as
possible, at night. During WW2 such assaults were hazardous and often costly.
With hi-tech nightvision and GPS guidence systems this would be routine for
the Joes. The lone tank would be their battering ram after the Joe's jets
made their runs.
The fact that Sgt. Fury was in command of the tank didn't matter now that
combat was close. The Joe's were professional's and knew whose side he was
on. The attack began at 0300 and was textbook. With one run the expert
pilots knocked out all but 2 of the heavy guns. That didn't cost the Joes
as Sgt. Fury overan them before they could be manned.
The glider landing had been almost flawless. The Joe known as Alpine suffered
a broken leg in a freak twist, but that was the only mis-hap as their extra
equpment and vehicles had landed safely only a short distance away. The few
on-duty Cobra's offered little resistance, the handfull of A.I.M. muscle even
The only real resistance came just outside the lab itself where a dozen Cobra
'Crimson Guards' and 3 mercenary's tried to make a last stand against the now
on foot swarm of Joes. That didn't last long as Sgt. Fury came through the
left wall with the Abrams.
"Instant doorway," he joked from the turrent.
He was one of them now as they cheered him on. Swiveling the gun, he fired at
the vault-like door, blowing it to oblivion.
"NO! Nooooo!!" Dr. Mindbender screamed pulling out an ingram.
A deadly razor sharp shuriken embedded into his wrist causing the shot to go
wild. Glass shattered and the machine behind him made an ominous hum.
"You fools! You fools! It can't be stopped now," Dr. Mindbender screamed in
panic as he ran from the room.
"Dude, this does not look good," Hi-Tech said as he looked over the control
Hi-Tech was actually smarter than Mindbender, given time he could have
figured out a way to shut it down. He didn't have the time as the humming
became a deafening screech. And then the world went white for 30 Joes. The
explosion could be heard for miles and it left nothing, but a crater.
Everyone inside the comlex was gone as if they were never there.
* * *
But they were not dead.
* * *
end of Chapter 1: