Disclaimers: The Facts Of Life belongs to Sony Pictures Television. Penthouse
Magazine belongs to Bob Guccione and Penthouse Media Group, Incorporated.
This story is not-for-profit, but I own it.
Warnings: Strong language, voyurism, female/female sex, male solo sex, female
solo sex, male/female sex
Categories: Het, slash, bi
Pairing: Blair/Jo/Tera Patrick/Evan Seinfeld
Feedback: Yes, I want feedback.
Other Notes: This AU story is a birthday gift for Tera Patrick, who was born
on July 25th, 1976.
Summary: Jo talks Blair into stepping into a vacant building in order to get
Evan Seinfeld to sign Natalie's wildlife-saving petition, only to have them
discover that it actually is a set for a new porn-film starring Tera Patrick.
Dedication: Happy 31st Birthday to Tera Patrick! -- ATK 2007
Facts Of Life: We're Only Doing A Movie
by Andrew Troy Keller ([email protected])
My name is Jo Polniaczek and I was this one girl from the Bronx who has
gotten a schoolarship and arrived at her new school known as the Eastland
Academy for girls on my motorcycle, which was where I was able to meet the
greatest bunch of friends that any girl could ever have in the entire world.
One of those new friends of mine happens to be Edna Garrett, who had came
to Eastland to be a den mother to all of the girls who attend all of their
classes there just before she had opened her own baked goods shop known as
Edna's Edibles in this small New York town of Peekskill, which is where I
had gone to live with Mrs. G and my three best friends whose names are
Natalie Green, Tootie Ramsey and Blair Warner, even though we still have
some problems with each other.
But in spite of those problems, we had managed to help Mrs. G get back on
her feet after a fire has destroyed her first business and we had pulled our
insurance checks together in order to rebuild the place into this trendy
gift-shop known as Over Our Heads, which we had equal success with.
Of course, even though some of us would rather have her eyes shot out of her
head with a double-barreled harpoon-gun, we would always get ourselves talked
into doing something that we really don't want to do, which brings us to July
25th and the fact that it was when one of Natalie's friends had asked her to
try to get as many signatures as she possibly could on a petition to save
some wildlife-type thing.
Anyway, it was after we were able to get a few names on the petition that
both Natalie and Tootie had agreed that we should split-up into two teams and
hope to God that we should get even more signatures that way just before they
had gone one way and Blair and I had gone the other way.
But just as we were about to step inside the first door that we had came
upon and start asking for those fucking signatures, I had suddenly caught a
glimpse of Evan Seinfeld -- who happens to be this singer and bassist for
this cool New York hardcore band known as Biohazzard -- standing in front of
an alleyway and smoking a cigarette.
And while he was doing that, I had suddenly allowed this big smile to
appear on my face and it was because I just happen to be a really big fan
of Biohazzard and allow myself to listen to each and every one of that
band's tunes even after I had graduated from Eastland and started attending
courses at Langley College.
But of course, that was before Blair has tapped her fingers on my shoulder
and caused me to snap out of it just in time for me to turn around, look at
the concern in her eyes and listen to her ask, "What is it, Jo?Are you
feeling well?", just before I had let out a small smile, placed my copy of
the petition inside my tote-bag and answered, "I'm okay, Blair. Just please
do me a favor and put your petition in here. I think I know a way to get
some signatures for Natalie. Just trust me. Okay?"
And after she has given my little suggestion some thought and figured that
it would be better than having us strike out with local store owners all
over again, Blair has placed her copy of the petition inside my tote-bag
and followed me into the alley and through an open backdoor of this one
And then, after we had taken a few more steps inside the building and turned
our eyes toward one of the rooms, both me and Blair had looked with confusion
in our eyes at the sight of a movie crew setting up their equipment for some
sort of scene just before we had discovered that a certain Penthouse Magazine
Pet of the Month named Tera Patrick was sitting on a stool in only a
powder-blue silk bathrobe and gazed upon her beautifully-polished
That was before Blair has taken a deep breath, slowly walked herself over
to Tera and said, "Excuse me. I really hate to interupt you like this, but
there's something that...!" only to have the February 2000 Pet of the Month
move herself off of the stool, place the tips of her fingers on Blair's lips
and say, "Sssshhhh. It's okay. You don't have to say anything. You don't
have to explain why you're late. All you need to do now is just relax and
remember that we're only doing a movie."
And then, after Tera has looked at the crew and noticed that they were all
ready, she has led a reluctant Blair over to this big blue mat just before
the director has yelled-out the word 'action' and this one guy who was
operating the camera has started shooting the scene.
That was before that one Penthouse Pet has taken her robe off to expose
her bare-ass naked body and kissed Blair ever so passionately on the lips,
which -- in turn -- has suddenly caused Blair to strip off all of her clothes
and allow Tera to start licking all over her nude body -- all the way down to
her hot, wet pussy and carressing her firm breasts, while Evan has placed his
naked body inside the room and began stroking his stiff cock right in front
of his beloved wife and her newfound sex-partner.
And then, after I had taken all of my clothes off and started pumping two of
my fingers in and out of my hot, moist snatch and carressing my own tits with
the other hand, Evan has moved himself closer to me and placed his stone hard
dick inside my asshole and his hands on my stiff mounds just before Blair has
placed her hands on Tera's bare shoulders and said, "Aaaahhhh, yeeeessss!
That's it! Do it, Tera! Touch me! Touch me there! Suck my wet pussy dry!
Then, after both me and Evan had moved ourselves closer to the two newfound
lesbian lovers and I had began sucking on Blair's tits, the both of us had
suddenly realized that we were both able to experience the one thing that we
had never experienced with anyone outside the Langley College campus before,
for we were experiencing pure and untamed erotica... and enjoying every
minute of it.
Just then, after Evan has placed his stiff cock inside Tera's pussy and
started licking on Blair's hot and steamy cunt, the hot-looking Penthouse
Pet has started licking on my snatch and carressing her tits and my fellow
Langley College classmate has placed her hand on my silky-smooth naked thigh
and began sucking on my bare toes, causing me to place my hands on Tera's
bare back and yell at the top of my lungs, "AAAAHHHH, YES! THAT'S IT! DO IT,
BLAIR! DO IT, TERA! TOUCH ME! SUCK ON MY TOES! SUCK MY WET PUSSY DRY! FUCK
THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! MAKE ME WANNA CUM! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!"
And then, after we had started moving ourselves harder and faster and our
lovemaking has finally made its appearence in the latest issue of Penthouse
Magazine, Blair, Tera, Evan and I had came and collapsed due to exhaustion
and fell asleep with our naked arms in a lover's embrace.
Just then, as soon as we had gotten ourselves back home and handed the
petitions filled with signatures to a grateful Natalie, both Blair and I
had gone upstars and into our bedroom, where she had let out a sigh and
said, "Look, Jo. About what we had done in order to get those signatures,
how about we just keep that to ourselves. Okay?"
And after I had turned my eyes toward Blair, nodded my head in response to
her question and told her that I really don't blame her for keeping her mouth
shut about that experience, I had moved myself closer to Blair and gave her a
big friendly hug with the hope that we should never go through that whole
thing never again... AND WE MEAN IT THIS TIME, NATALIE!