Disclaimer: this story is pure fiction. Everybody Hates Chris belongs to FOX
and Chris Rock. If you are offended by sex, sex with teenage boys and girls,
then read no further
Author's note: I was bored one day and watched Oprah and watched some talk
shows as nothing was on and Oprah was looking hot, and saw a lot of talk
show hosts THINK they know everything about the world, but are dead wrong,
and are actually telling everyone the OPPOSITE of REAL LIFE! Then one recent
day, I was thinking, Chris Rock tells ALL the things, well all but THIS one,
all the things that I been telling everyone! A lot of you might think what
he says is funny, and even if it is funny to you, it's the TRUTH! I went
through it first hand, just like he did! Although I was surprised someone
like HIM would admit it! Anyways, his personality and words, sound a LOT
like me, so don't be TOO surprised if the non-sex parts in this story are
his next episode for his show!
Dedications: Chris Rock! Thanks for telling the truth, homie!
Narrator - Chris Rock
Young Chris - Tyler James Williams
Joey - ?
Codes: mf, ff, grope, hp, voy, cons
Everybody Hates Chris: Proving Talk Hosts Wrong Part 1 - False Talk Shows
By Dragon333 ©April 2nd, 2006
~If you watch talk shows like Oprah, then you know it's the way you ACT that
makes you cool, and not the way you look! And if you just act cool, feel free
to talk to anyone you want, and just MAKE yourself fit in with the crowd,
then you'll be all cool and popular! Talk to any kids you want, and they'll
be happy to talk back! WRONG!!! The problem with THEIR views is, they study
the AFTER times things happen to kids, NOT the before!~
Chris saw a group of people looking at a comic at a table in the classroom
before the bell rang. He happily, with much confidence, went up to the group.
"What's everyone looking at? I want to see!" Chris said as he tiptoed up and
tried to look at the comic book. A kid turned around and as soon as they saw
it was Chris, one of the boys pushed him to the floor.
"Go away, nerd boy! We don't want to hang out with you!" The kid told him.
~If I let him get away with this, then I would be letting him get away with
everything he'd do to me for the rest of the school year!~
Chris then stood back up quickly and pushed him back.
"Who you callin' a nerd boy?" Chris said to the boy angrily. The principal
then came in while the two boys kept pushing each other. The principal got
in the way and stuck his arms out, keeping them at an arm's length distance.
"Chris, Adam! Stop fighting this instant!" The principal told them in a firm
voice. "Now I want to know who started this fight, and I want to know now!"
"He did!" Chris said quickly.
"Chris did! He did it!" said the rest of the group. Chris was very stunned
that he was accused by so many people of him starting the fight when it was
clear as day that he didn't. But of course the people who hated him, would
get HIM in trouble and save their own friend.
"Principal! I DIDN'T start the fight!" Chris insisted to the principal.
"Oh really, Chris? Then why would EVERYONE here say that YOU did it?" a
pause. "You get detention for two days, Chris! Adam, you get detention
"Why?" Adam pleaded.
"For fighting! Whether you started it or not, you get detention! Chris is
getting twice as much for being the one who started it!"
~While I was at lunch, you know what my enemies were doing?~
Joey Caruso grabbed Amanda's tit and squeezed it.
"Damn, that's a whole handful!" he said out loud to her smiling. She punched
him in the arm for it.
~The thing about sexual harassment in school is, you could feel all the
girl's tits you want whenever you want, as long as your in school! And you
get detention and a punch or slap back. But AFTER school, you can get locked
up for 5 years! Hell if I knew what I knew now, I would have grabbed every
girl's tits in school who had a nice rack! AND when they're in school,
they're fresh, virgins, and gorgeous! Most guys like virgin girls! Although
a lot of them PRETEND they don't and PRETEND they are only attracted to girls
"their own age." Not to mention, when you do those things in real school, you
don't have to put up with listening to the girls problems, or any of the shit
that you would need to work at in a relationship, you can just go up to any
girl in real school and grab and squeeze her tit, and NOTHING that bad could
ever happen to you! Sure I get girls NOW, but NOW they are all old, used up,
and most of them, are WRINKLY! And what I get now, now that I missed out on
all the REAL opportunities in middle and high school, are nothing but the
left overs! That's right, all the girls I get now, are nothing but left
overs! Now that everyone else is done with her, they go to me! And worse,
they want to MARRY me! That might not sound like a bad thing to you youngin's
but marriage isn't what they show u in the fairy tale books! Marry a girl,
she's your responsibility, you always have to give her money, you stuck with
her kids, even if they ain't yours, and as soon as you give her the rock on
her finger, she's no longer trying to get you to love her! And then she
rarely gives you any play, ‘cuz she TRAPPED you, and now that you gave her
that ring, if you want to break up, the only way to do that is through
divorce which could take MONTHS! Hell, I know a guy who waited until
marriage, before she tried to get in the girls pants, and you know what? As
soon as she got the ring, she took off and to THIS DAY, NEVER gave him any
Anyways, since Joey disrespected Amanda, I thought it would give me the
opportunity to be a gentleman to her and make a move. So after my detention
was over, I went up to her.~
"Hey, Amanda. I'm Chris, I'm in your biology class. Me and my friend are
gonna hang out at my house this weekend, wanna come?" Chris said in high
"That's real sweet of you to ask, Chris, but I'm meeting one of my own
friends this weekend. Sorry."
~I wonder who that could be?~
Chapter Two: The Price At Being A Gentleman, And That Weekend
Amanda took Joey's cock in her mouth and stroked it with her mouth, without
using any hands.
"Yeah that's it, Amanda! Suck it you, whore!" Joey Caruso told her, humping
her fresh mouth.
"Suck his dick harder, slut!" One of Amanda's female friends told her. Amanda
then sucked harder, as she even stroked Joey's cock faster and faster with
her mouth, with no hands. One of Joey's guy friends, grabbed and played with
Amanda's tits with one hand, while she was still sucking Joey's erect penis.
Amanda couldn't take much dick in her mouth anymore so she stopped sucking
his cock, started panting, and her female friend that called her a slut a
minute ago, went up to her and sucked her 13 year old C-cup boob, then Joey's
guy friend sucked on her other one.
"Oh yes, Ashley! Suck my tit! Oh yeah, you too, Randy!" she moaned out while
the two teenagers, one boy and one girl were sucking her 13 year old tits!
Amanda had a pair of the biggest tits in her grade, and now both of her tits
were being sucked on, causing her to moan out loud with excitement as a group
of friends were watching and witnessing her sex actions. After the tit
sucking was all done, the group that was watching them, applauded and cheered
"Kiss your friend!" the crowd told Amanda. Amanda then went up to Ashley and
stuck her tongue in her mouth and began to kiss her. She massaged her tongue
with her own, squeezed and rubbed her best friend's tit while she kept
kissing her, and sucking on her friend's tongue giving her one of her best
lesbian kisses in her teen life. The crowd could see their tongues pressing
against each other from time to time, and their lips semi-locking, and they
could see the kiss growing deeper and deeper while they wrapped each other's
arms around each other and kept making out, almost sucking the life out of
each other's tongues. The kiss lasted for nearly two minutes as they finally
ended their make out session with a four second long last lip kiss, pressing
each others lips against each other for four seconds as they finished their
~You're probably wondering what I was doing all that time huh? I was studying
hard, and working hard on my homework!~
The next school day, Chris felt bad that he got two detentions when he only
deserved at the most one, the "IN-crowd" didn't let him in on their games or
comic viewing, and someone who acted like a jerk to a girl, is the one who
got to have her, while he treated her with nothing but respect. Then he
started brushing his hands against the metal fence.
_ _ _
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