Drew Carey Show: Drew's Big Birthday (M/F, voy)
by Prophet Master

Drew Carey walked out of his kitchen with a beer in one hand, and the remote
in the other. He was watching another one of those specials on FOX. He
couldn't really tell what this one was called, though. Maybe it was "When
Network Execs Run Out Of Ideas," but who cared? Drew was happy watching
whatever it was, he wasn't at work now. Drew worked at a local department
store. His official title was "Assistant Director of Personnel," but that was
just a title, and nobody really knew what it meant, so he usually just ended
up doing whatever his boss, Mr. Wick, said. To top it off was Mimi, the
fashion victim from hell. Though Drew absolutely loved it when he got in a
good one with her, she usually emerged on top in their little battles of

"Jeez, if she finished on top of me I'd probably suffocate," Drew chuckled to
himself. He took another sip of his beer and began to relax. He wasn't with
his girlfriend tonight because Nikki was working late. He considered calling
her, but thought better of it. Instead he continued to drink his beer, and
watch his TV. He eventually fell asleep.

He was woken up at about 1:30 by the sound of giggles. One set was
unmistakably feminine, the other masculine, though not very. He identified
them as Kate and Oswald, two of his friends. The two of them had been going
out for a few months, much to Drew's chagrin, as he had secretly loved Kate
since about when he was 10. He had watched her grow up into a beautiful
woman, and had always looked in envy on anyone who went out with her, but
he never asked her out himself because he was afraid of hurting their

However, Oswald apparently had no such concerns, and when he viewed how happy
the two of them were, it became more and more evident to Drew that he would
never have Kate. Recently, though, this hadn't been as big a problem for him.
Actually, about since he started going out with Nikki. Kate and Oswald moved
through Drew's kitchen and came into his living room.

"Do you think he's asleep?" Kate asked.

"Of course he is. He's going out with Nikki tomorrow, so he knows he needs
his sleep tonight," Oswald answered, trying to be coy, but failing miserably.

Drew watched them closely, but in the dark they didn't even notice that he
was watching. They were kissing, and Oswald had one hand on Kate's left tit,
and with the other one he was rubbing the cleft at the crotch of her jeans.
For her part Kate was rubbing Oswald's dick through his pants, and her right
tit with the other.

Drew's interest was certainly peaked, along with other parts of him. He
didn't know why they had come to his house, and he really didn't care. This
was his chance to see Kate naked, and he wasn't about to pass it up. Sure,
he'd seen her in bikinis and her underwear, but never totally naked. Now he
had his chance. And not only naked, but getting fucked, even if it was by
Oswald. Kate and Oswald were by now moving up the stairs, obviously to the
bedroom up there.

"Usual place?" Kate asked.

"Yeah, Drew's bed is much better than either of ours," Oswald replied.

"Those springs on mine make it HARD to go at it." Oswald giggled at his very
bad joke.

Drew couldn't believe it. How long had they been screwing in his bed? He
didn't mind having Kate naked in his bed, but OSWALD? He was torn as to
whether or not to burn his sheets, having had Kate in them, but also Oswald.
Of course, at that moment he was less concerned with that than his impending
look at Kate. Suddenly he realized he might want a record of this. He ran
downstairs and began rooting around his closets looking for his Camcorder. He
couldn't believe the junk he had in there. Half a fishing rod! An 8-track
player! Lava lamp? Wait, that was cool. Finally he found it. Drew opened it
up to look at what tape was inside. "Parents' 20th Anniversary" the label
read. Drew couldn't record over that. What if his parents decided to watch
it? Drew looked at another tape. "Buzz Beer Moments." He couldn't tape over
that either. At last he found one in the bottom of the drawer. He shoved it
into the Camcorder and hurried back upstairs. He was in luck! Not only had
Oswald and Kate not quite started yet, but also they had left the door open
about a bit, just enough for the camera lens to fit through. It was dark in
the hallway, and Drew was sure they wouldn't notice him there.

Inside the room, things were just starting to heat up. Oswald had his hands
on Kate's ample tits through her T-shirt, and Kate was still rubbing his cock
through the black jeans as they kissed wetly and noisily. Oswald moved his
hands up Kate's back, sliding her shirt up, until he reached the clasp of her
bra. He fumbled with it briefly before getting it undone. Oswald slid the
straps off of Kate's shoulders while her tight white shirt was still on, and
peeled the bra off of her. He pulled it out the bottom of her shirt and threw
it on the floor. He then stepped back for a minute to admire the view of his
girlfriend, with her nipples pointing cheekily through the shirt.

Conveniently for Drew, Oswald's stepping back allowed him a great look at
Kate. He zoomed the camera in to look at her erect-tipped tits before panning
up to her face, and back down. Then Oswald stepped back and peeled his shirt
over his head. It joined Kate's bra on the floor. Oswald pulled Kate to him,
and began frenching her again. His hairy chest rubbed up against her hot tits
through the thin, tight cloth barrier that separated them. Oswald's hands
roamed up and down Kate's back, finally come to rest and cupping her firm
asscheeks, pulling her against his rod. Kate wiggled her slim hips against
Oswald's dick through his pants, inflaming him further. He grabbed the bottom
of her shirt, and literally tore off the thin, tight fabric Drew's eyes
almost fell out of his sockets. Kate's tits were better than he ever could
have imagined. They were not that big, but on her slim frame they looked
quite impressive. The skin looked exquisitely smooth, and unblemished, with
small, glistening drops of sweat covering them. Her aureolas were very pink,
and her nipples were deliciously stiff and raised.

Apparently Kate's tits had the same effect on Oswald that they had on Drew
because he couldn't stop staring at them. He reached his hands out to them,
and cupped the mounds in his hands, reshaping them. Kate was rubbing her
hands across Oswald's back, occasionally dropping down to his ass. Oswald
suddenly fell to his knees and took Kate's left nipple in to his wet, moist
mouth, while he rubbed the rest of that tit's flesh with his hands. Kate
threw her head back and closed her eyes in pleasure. Oswald's tongue stroked
rapidly across Kate's rigid nub before gently biting it.

Drew had the camera zoomed in on Oswald's skilled tit licking. He wasn't
jacking off now, but knew that the tape would provide endless hours of
entertainment. He didn't want to get himself off now because he didn't want
to screw up the shots, however. Oswald had moved on to Kate's other breast
by now, and was sucking it in earnest. Kate was sitting on the edge of the
bed, with Oswald kneeling between her shapely legs. Kate had her hands in his
hair, and her head was lolling back and forth in pleasure as Oswald's tongue
stroked her rigid nipples to even greater levels of hardness. Oswald stood up
quickly. Kate moaned softly as he moved away from her breasts, but quickly
began smiling again as she watched him peeling his pants off. As Oswald
stepped out of them, Kate reached out and began rubbing the bulge at his

"Mmm, that's nice, Katie Bear," Oswald said, looking down at her with a

"Yeah, I can tell my little buddy likes it," Kate replied.

Oswald reached his hands down and grabbed Kate by the shoulders, and gently
pulled her to her feet. He reached to her jeans and undid the button. He then
slowly pulled the zipper down, and began to peel the jeans off of Kate's
hips, as Kate liked to wear tight jeans, which drew a lot of stares from
other men. Oswald loved to watch other men ogle Kate, because they could only
look, while he could touch all he wanted. As long as she wanted him to, of
course. And she wanted him to right then.

So Oswald continued pulling Kate's jeans off of her. They fell to the floor,
and she stepped out of them. Now each of them were wearing only their
underwear. They were standing facing each other, each of their gazes aimed
downward, staring at the other's body. They reached out and embraced each
other, going in for a very long, very wet French kiss as Oswald's hands
roamed up Kate's side from her armpits down to her hips and back up again. He
grabbed both her breasts and began to knead them softly on one such pass, and
Kate kissed him with even greater fervor than she had been previously. Oswald
alternately rubbed and pinched her nipples while his head moved own to kiss
at her neck. Kate's eyes were heavy lidded with the pleasure. Oswald moved
his hands down and Kate moaned her disapproval. However, these moans of
disapproval soon disappeared as his hands moved to her hips, rubbing up and
down the smooth skin.

Oswald was moving farther down with every pass up and down until he was
slowly pushing her panties farther and farther down. Kate was watching, quite
interested, as her scant panties were pushed down to mid-thigh. Suddenly
Oswald brazenly moved one hand quickly up to grab her pubis, and roughly move
back and forth there. He had his hand out almost like he was about to press
some flesh. Of course, that was what he was doing to her then, but what
Oswald was doing to Kate was entirely different from what he would do to a
casual acquaintance or a boss. Regardless, Kate liked it. A lot. And she made
sure that he knew. When he had grabbed her she had given a very audible gasp
of surprise that had by now turned into cries of pleasure speckled with the
odd "oh, don't stop!".

Oswald's hand was quite moist by now, as Kate's quiff was excreting quite a
bit of moisture. He stopped his rubbing long enough to bring his hand up to
his mouth and lick some of the juices off it. He then offered it to Kate,
who reached her tongue out quite sexily to lick her own love moisture off
of Oswald's hand. Oswald pushed Kate down on the bed once again, and knelt
between her firm, athletic, moist thighs. He peeled her panties all the way
off of her, and through them away to a corner of the room. Oswald leaned in
close to Kate's damp quim, and inhaled deeply. He was quite turned on by the
smell of his girlfriend's cunt, and it showed as his underwear gained an even
larger tent than they had had before.

Oswald spread Kate's outer lips, and revealed the soaken pink flesh inside.
Kate's clit was clearly visible, poking its head through the little hood that
usually concealed it. Oswald poked it almost experimentally with his finger,
and Kate jumped as a shock of pleasure went through her. Oswald left it to
move farther down, sticking first one his ring than his pinkie fingers into
her snatch. He began a twisting action, which he knew drove Kate crazy. He
moved his other fingers back up to her clit and began circling it. Kate was
whipping her head back and forth, her eyes squeezed shut and her face frozen
in a look of ecstasy.

Oswald was using his mouth to nip Kate's nipples as he was pistoning his
fingers into her cunt. Oswald loved the way her vagina was squeezing his
fingers. Her breathing was quite ragged, and her cheeks were flushed an
absolutely delicious shade of pink. Oswald could feel Kate's quim begin to
clutch and spasm, and he knew that she was cumming. Kate began making short
gasping sounds as she felt it begin to wash over her. Oswald felt something
else wash over him, or more specifically, his hand, as Kate's sweet, tight
hole began to discharge its delectable nectar onto his quickly moving digits.

Kate began to quite slowly come down from her cum. Her breathing slowed a
little bit, and her hole relaxed its death grip on Oswald's hand. Once again
he pulled it up to his mouth, and licked off Kate's liquid, which was far
more plentiful this time. He even gave Kate another taste, but she had really
had her energy sapped by her giant orgasm.

Oswald pulled off his painfully tight briefs. He then stood between her legs,
which were dangling off the edge of the bed. Having given Kate her pleasure,
he now intended to get some for himself. Of course, Kate would probably still
get some pleasure from it too. Just not as much as the last one. Kate's mound
and hole were absurdly slippery, so he didn't need any lubrication. He
grabbed his cock and poised at her entrance. Then he pushed in. Oswald pushed
until he was up to his balls in Kate, and pulled back out. He repeated the
motion, feeling how her lubricated cunt was gripping his dick as he moved it
in and out. Kate had just begun to stir, and it was obvious that her head was
still spinning a bit.

Oswald grabbed her legs by the thighs and pulled her to him. He held her feet
up on his shoulders as he pushed into her with increasing speed. Despite so
recently having cum so hard Kate's channel was like a vice, gripping and
squeezing at all the right times. Oswald was nearing his orgasm, and from the
sounds she was beginning to make it was clear that Kate was too. Oswald gave
a final mighty push into Kate's moist depths as he began to shoot. His cum
boiled up inside of her, triggering another cum in Kate. Her hips shook as
Oswald pumped his jizz into her tight canal. He gave a few last spurts as
they both came down. They lay on the bed for a few minutes to catch their

Drew continued filming even after they were done, getting a few more pans up
Kate's body. When he saw them stir, however, he knew it was almost time to
get back downstairs. However, he waited just a little longer to film Kate
pulling her damp panties back on, then turned the camera off, went
downstairs, and pretended to still be asleep. His birthday was in two days,
but he thought he had already gotten the best present. He knew he'd get a lot
of entertainment out of it.

Kate and Oswald tiptoed out the door, giggling as Drew lay on the couch
feigning slumber.

The Next Night...

Drew and Nikki were standing in Drew's bedroom, making out quite fervently.
Drew had already pulled her shirt out of her pants and had his hands up it,
pawing at her breasts. Nikki's hands would have been tangled in Drew's hair
if it was any longer, but as it was she was just rubbing his head. Their
tongues were dueling as a slight bit of spittle dribbled slowly down her
face. Drew broke the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head with
an over-the-top Full Monty kind of thing. Nikki giggled before reaching out
to run her hands down his chest, which was hairier than his head, thank God.
Drew peeled Nikki's shirt up over her head, and clumsily unhooked her bra.
She felt his hands on her nipples, and began to moan.

"Oooooo, don't stop, Drew," she moaned.

"Yes, ma'am!" Drew responded with overdone chipperness.

Drew rolled the erect little nipples between his thumb and forefinger. At the
same time he kept kissing her, drawing her tongue into his mouth to suck on
it. Her nips her getting even harder, so Drew knew he was doing that right.
So, of course, he stopped doing it. Nikki moaned into his mouth in
disappointment, but he paid no head to that. He reached his hands down, and
began almost weighing her breasts from underneath, lifting them up. His hands
slid up the ample flesh to cup the weighty mounds, the tips almost diamond
hard in his palms. He relinquished his hold on them to undo Nikki's jeans and
to slide them off her legs, before doing the same to his own. Nikki could
feel Drew's hardon rubbing at her cleft through the underwear that separated
them, and it made her feel a little bit more damp than they already were.
Drew disengaged his mouth from Nikki's and started kissing down her body. He
didn't do it in any ordinary way, though.

First, he kissed her neck, then he sharply moved down to kiss her feet. He
came back up to kiss her collarbone then back down to her shin. This went on
for a while. Drew moved especially slowly over her tits, giving them much
longer, wetter kisses than nay other part of her body. The twin paths of
kisses met at her panties, kissing the moist center. His saliva added to the
growing wetness there, and Nikki let out a serrated sigh to indicate the
pleasure she felt.

Drew sucked the slightly tangy cotton into his mouth, feeling the warmth as
the center of Nikki's femininity pressed into him. The musky odor was making
him feel almost lightheaded, a condition which Nikki was almost certainly
felling. Drew had his tongue out and was rubbing it up and down the cloth
that covered Nikki's gates.

As Drew was accomplishing this task, he was simultaneously pulling the sides
of the panties away, revealing the pink flesh to his eyes. And of course, to
his tongue. It scraped across the exposed flesh, picking up the juices it
found there, before setting to work creating some more. He peeled her fat
lips apart, and attacked the contents of those secret fold with a fierceness
he knew she loved. He had his hands under her ass, lifting and squeezing as
his tongue further explored the gist in front of it.

Nikki was rutting her hips upward in an unmistakable, primitive gesture of
lust. She sat up suddenly, and pushed Drew down. She then proceeded to pull
off his boxers, letting his erection spring free. She reached own and pulled
on it, then settled into a nice rhythm of stroking him, squeezing on the way
down, and then letting up on the way back up. The tip was leaking pre-cum,
and she touched her finger to the head, gathering up the pearly liquid there
before bringing it up to her mouth to taste it. Drew was breathing quite
heavily, though that wasn't unusual.

He became out of breath when he walked up the stairs. This was far better
than anything he could get on the stairs up to his room. Unless... he would
have to remember that for later. Nikki suddenly stood up and then just as
quickly laid down on the bed. She spread her legs, her quivering, wet lips
parting slightly. Drew realized that it was time for the main event, and he
went over to stand between her legs. He took his organ into his hand and
guided it to her opening. He pushed slightly, and he was in.

Drew quickly started the old in and out, driving her farther up onto the bed.
He ended up not standing between her legs, but lying on top of her, thrusting
sweetly into her warm, open, yielding body. But he couldn't keep his thoughts
off of what he had seen the night before. He had been thinking about it all
day and all night. Even now, having great sex with his girlfriend, all Drew
could think about was what Kate's body had looked like as Oswald licked her.
Drew became even more aroused than he already was at the thought, and he
thrust into Nikki even harder, making her squeal in absolute delight. He
couldn't keep his mind off of Kate.

Every detail of her body was perfect. The coral pink, puckered, pointy
nipples, glistening from Oswald's saliva. Her waist, so thin it looked as if
you could fit your hands around it. Drew loved her slender hips, and he
absolutely adored the slight bush of very soft looking hair that surrounded
her pouty, tight-looking, wet cunt. He longed to jam himself into that hole,
to feel it caress his cock. And her face, the epitome of innocent beauty.
Kate's eyes were wide, and totally gorgeous. Her brown hair that Drew thought
would look so good with his cum stuck in it. And her mouth. He almost came on
the image of thrusting his dick in between her lips, full, pouty, pink.

As he reflected on this his arousal reached his peak and he began shooting
his spunk deep into Nikki's womb. The feel of his hot cum spreading through
her quim set off Nikki's trigger, and she began shaking and moaning, her
mouth opening and closing like that of a fish. Drew was still cumming, the
feeling of Nikki's amazing walls massaging him drawing even more jizz from
him. He couldn't remember a time he had cum so hard. Thank God it wasn't
Nikki's time of the month. He didn't want little kids running around. He
could barely support himself and his fridge!

Drew rolled off Nikki and lay beside her. She curled up into the crook of
his arm, purring in contentment. Not bad for a guy whaled up the length of
his shaft and came out the top in great waves. His pleasurer swallowed one
gulp, then pulled it out and allowed it to hit her all over the face, even
getting in her hair. Drew must have cum gallons, despite the fact of his
great sex with Nikki.

All of a sudden, the light came on.

"Surprise!!" Oswald, Lewis, and Nikki all yelled in unison.

Wait a minute! Nikki! Drew looked down to the foot of the bed and saw Kate,
wearing only a thin, soft, powder blue teddy, with his cum dripping out of
her hair, and a slight, mischievous smile on her face. The teddy was quite
tight, and hugged her ample curves in all the right places. Her nipples were
quite hard, and poking through the fabric.

"We figured you were tired of the same beer, videos, and food every birthday,
Drew," Lewis told him.

"Uhhhhh.........yeah, tired of it," Drew answered.

"Do you like your present, honey," Nikki asked with a slight laugh.

"Of course I did! It was great! But, but, but..." Drew told her.

Kate was now standing beside everyone else, still with cum dripping from her
hair, and now landing on her precious silk covered mounds. She made no move
to interfere with it.

"Guys, only you could have thought this up, so I'll ask you: What the hell
were you thinking?!! Sure, I enjoyed it, but still!! And Kate, why'd you
agree to this? And Nikki, why'd you go along with it??!!"

"Sssh Drew, it's all right," Kate soothingly told him," I know you've wanted
me for a while now. Everybody has. You aren't the most subtle person in the
world, you know."

At this everybody made a half laughing half choking noise to themselves.

"I didn't mind, the guys thought it was a great idea, and after we told Nikki
about how long you'd wanted me, she was okay with it to. Now, it's four in
the morning, so I'm going to go get cleaned up, and you're going back to

And with that she, Oswald, and Lewis left.

"Thanks, sweetie," Drew said to Nikki.

"Aw, it was nothing, besides, it's only a one-time thing."

"Really? I was thinking we could make a yearly tradition. Sort of the X-rated
version of trimming the Christmas tree."

Nikki giggled and punched him in the arm, then they lay down and went to
sleep together. As he lay there, Drew remembered that he still had the whole
rest of his birthday left, and it was a Saturday.

"Happy birthday to me," he thought to himself, and then drifted off.



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