BEVERLY HILLBILLIES: Elly May, Jethro Mayn't
By Uncle Mike
Even as Miss Hathaway's convertible was slipping through
traffic, Elly May was still trying to argue herself out of the
"I don't need no more clothes," she told the secretary, who
looked like a broomstick with a shriveled up old apple on the
top. "I got plenty."
"Hmm, yes," Miss Hathaway said, keeping her eyes on the
road. "But there are a few gaps in your wardrobe."
Elly May looked down at herself. Her abundant breasts were
corralled by a white men's shirt, with the ends tied in a knot
around her stomach. A pair of battered-looking jeans hugged
her shapely legs tightly, held up by a rope around her waist.
"I ain't got no gaps," she said petulantly. "See? There ain't
Miss Hathaway chuckled to herself as she pulled the car
into a parking space near the dress shop. She almost had to
drag Elly May in, until the girl caught sight of an elaborate
wedding gown in one corner of the display window.
"Kin I try on that one?" she asked. Miss Hathaway agreed;
anything to get her into the store.
Once inside, Elly May did try on the wedding gown, and Miss
Hathaway took advantage of the glow from that experience to
slip several other outfits onto her lush body. But eventually
the girl's obstinance returned and the sales clerk was ready to
admit defeat as Elly May rejected dress after dress.
Miss Hathaway, however, had the clerk put aside two
particularly pretty dresses, and now had one last objective.
"How about a bathing suit, Elly May?"
"A bathin' suit? I need something special just to take a
"No, no, Elly May. You need something to wear when you're
lounging outside. You can't just go around in that outfit all the
time. Remember, you're in Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimming
pools. Movie stars. You need something to wear in your pool."
"Aw, heck, if I want to go for a swim I don't wear nothin'.
That's the best way."
"Well, that's not how it's done in Beverly Hills. At least not
in the parts of town I go to. Here, try this one on." Miss
Hathaway held up a demure one-piece suit in a rather hideous
maroon. "I've got one just like it!"
Elly May rejected it quickly, but the sales clerk decided to
give it a shot. She pulled out a wispy yellow bikini. Elly May's
eyes widened. "Underwear!" she said. "You want me to wear
underwear around people?"
It took some fast talking to explain the difference, and the
girl didn't seem completely clear on the concept. But she did
agree to change into the bikini.
When she stepped out of the dressing room, Miss Hathaway
had to cover her mouth with a bony hand to suppress a giggle.
The bright yellow suit did show off Elly May's bountiful
body with all its curves. And the color set off sparks in her
blonde hair. But Elly May had spent most of her time outdoors
in the same get-up, and the bikini exposed a rather bizarre tan
line across her belly and a "V" of tan down the valley of her
Choking back her laughter, Miss Hathaway insisted the
outfit was perfect and had the sales clerk wrap it up. On the
way back to the Clampett's mansion, she tried to explain tan
lines to Elly May, gave up, and just insisted that the girl put on
her suit and get some time in the sun as soon as possible.
Inside the house, her father, Granny and Cousin Jethro were
bustling about, getting ready for a trip to the store. "Git your
carcass out to the car," Granny squawked at Elly May when she
started up the long, winding staircase to the second floor.
"We's a-going right now!"
"Uh-uh, I cain't go," Elly May explained. "Miss Hathaway says
I have to go put on some new underwear and sit out by the pool
so's I can get a sunburn on my chest. That way I'll fit in with
Granny shook her head, convinced more than ever that Miss
Hathaway and most everybody in this town was crazy. She
decided not to bother working on Elly May for now, and went
out and climbed into the old car.
They were all gone when Elly May came back down the
stairs in her skimpy bikini. She went out through the kitchen
to the pool and found a sunny spot to lie down on a bench. It
was a typically warm, beautiful Southern California day. Elly
May closed her eyes and settled back, dutifully turning over
every so often as Miss Hathaway had instructed. "Like a hog on
a spit," she mused out loud.
She was lying on her stomach, her eyes closed and her round
butt sticking up when a wet touch on her back made her jump
up. "What ... oh, it's you, Sugar," she said.
Sugar was a billy goat about four feet high. Its tongue was
still hanging out as it backed away, frightened by Elly May's
startled jump. She coaxed it back.
"Come on, Sugar, it's OK. I'm sorry I scared you. Come on!"
The goat cautiously trotted back to her side. She stroked its
dense gray and white fur as she talked to it softly.
"Hey, I missed you this morning. How you doing?"
The goat, of course, made no reply. But it was panting
heavily and seemed much more skittish than usual.
"What's wrong, Sugar?" Even as she asked, Elly May saw the
problem. Sugar's cock was stiff and hanging down. Now Elly
May understood the glazed look in his eyes. "You're missing
Buttercup, ain't ya?" she purred to her pet. They'd left
Buttercup, Sugar's sweetie, back home when they moved out to
"I'm sorry, Sugar. I guess you miss her a lot, huh?" Almost
as if he understood her words, Sugar pressed against her
smooth skin, rubbing his flanks on her.
Elly May looked down at his cock again. "Maybe I can help
you out a bit," she said, and reached down. With one hand she
petted his back, keeping him calm, while the other gently
encircled his stiff shaft.
Slowly she stroked the long, erect cock, slipping her
fingers back and forth across the swollen head. Sugar moved
against her, rubbing his fur into her smooth skin. Every now
and then, a slight tremor shook his skinny body.
As Elly May stroked the goat's cock, she felt a warmth
spreading in her own crotch. She shifted hands on his shaft and
plunged the other inside her skimpy bikini briefs, rubbing her
cunt until it was wet enough to admit a couple of fingers.
As her passion increased, she got off the bench and stood
behind the animal, keeping up her stroking on his cock while
she fingered herself, tugging her briefs down for better
access. Her breasts bulged out of the scanty bra cups, pressing
into the goat's back.
She moaned softly as she felt the goat's hard cock swell
slightly, and then a hot spray of cum shot out the tip.
"There, Sugar, that's better, isn't it?" she whispered in his
ear as she climbed back onto the bench.
But while the goat was now sated, Elly May found her own
juices were flowing hot and heavy. She pulled her briefs off
the rest of the way and went back to rubbing and fingering
herself, until she felt a cold, wet nose pushing her hand away.
As she looked up between the mounds of her breasts, she
saw Sugar move into position between her legs and lap at her
cunt. The scraping of his rough tongue on her sensitive pussy
lips excited her. She ground her cunt against his face.
But several minutes of his lapping still left her feeling
restless. Then her eyes widened briefly.
Pushing the goat away from her cunt, Elly May slipped off
the bench and got on her hands and knees on the ground, raising
her ass up and presenting her soaking-wet pussy to Sugar.
He got the idea quickly, and Elly May was pleased to see his
cock was once again long and hard.
The goat climbed up her back and inserted his cock in her
eager cunt. It was far too long to go in all the way, but Elly
May took as much as she could, bucking back against his
"You fuck me good, you hear?" she encouraged him. Her
breasts jiggled as she pushed back against his thrusts, and
Elly May soon slipped off the bra and caressed her tits with
one hand, squashing the firm mounds and massaging the erect
nipples. "That's real good, Sugar," she told the animal as he
madly drove into her tunnel.
As Sugar finally exploded inside her and the hot jet of cum
ignited Elly May's own bucking, screaming orgasm, Cousin
Jethro came through the back door of the house and stopped
He disappeared back inside and soon came out with his
Uncle Jed. "Look, Uncle Jed," Jethro said, pointing to where Elly
May lay face down, naked on the ground, while the goat nuzzled
lazily at her sodden cunt. "Look what Elly May did."
Jed, a grizzled old man, nodded his head and turned to go
"Ain't you gonna say anything?" Jethro demanded. "Ain't you
gonna tell her she can't do that?"
"She ain't hurtin' nobody ... leastways I don't think the goat
minded," Jed observed.
"But ... but when I did that, you made me stop and told me
never to do it again," the tall, well-built boy said angrily.
"You mean that time you was fucking the pig?" Jed stopped
and looked Jethro square in the eyes. "That was a boy pig, boy.
And I don't think he was taking to it any too kindly."