(fictional story about fictional characters)
(My version of S. 8, E. 8 "The Prom Equivalency")

Big Bang Theory: The Prom (MF,MMF,MFF,DP,DPP)
by Shaggy77

Penny was behind the kitchen counter of her apartment making cocktails, awaiting the arrival of her friends Bernadette Wolowitz and Amy Farrah Fowler, when the door opened and they walked in carrying take-out food for everyone. Amy spied neat piles of clothes on Penny's sofa and wondered what they were doing there. "Well, with all the new stuff I had to buy for my new job at the pharmaceutical company, I had to make room in my closet," Penny informed her.

"I meant why are they folded," Amy joked, alluding to Penny's somewhat messy habits, "but whatever." Holding up a particularly attractive red gown, Amy asked, "ooo, what's this one?"

"Believe it or not that's my prom dress," Penny admitted.

"Wow, you still have it," Bernadette sounded surprised, "I just assumed it was balled up in the corner of a barn somewhere."

Looking shocked, Penny inquired, "what kind of teenager do you think I was?"

"Slutty," Bernadette volunteered.

"Easy," Amy added.

"The word is popular," Penny corrected them, sipping on her wine.

"How was your prom...did you go," Bernadette asked Amy.

"No, she responded, "but I was on clean-up committee and it was OK...the DJ let me have one slow dance with my mop before he shut down."

"Yeah, my prom was pretty horrible too," Bernadette consoled her, "turns out my date only asked me because he liked my friend. He spent the whole night talking about her."

"Wow, you had a date and a lucky, now quit bragging," Amy told her.

Penny volunteered, "it doesn't matter, prom is silly anyway."

"That's easy for you to say," Bernadette said, "you probably went with the captain of the football team."

"No, I just made out with him while his date was puking," Penny chuckled.

"I have an idea, let's have a prom do-over," Bernadette suggested.

"Ooo that would be so much fun," Amy agreed, "we could decorate the roof, and make the guys wear tuxedos."

"Yeah, we could get out hair done and slow dance," Bernadette added.

"OK," Penny surrendered, "but trust me, from someone who's been to like seven proms; they're never as great as you want them to be."

"Seven proms," asked Amy.

"Yep; four Under the Seas, two Enchanted Evenings, and one Night to Remember...that for the life of me, I can't."

Several nights later, Raj Koothrappali, Leonard Hofstadter ( Penny's boyfriend), Sheldon Cooper (who Penny referred to as "head nerd") and Penny were sitting around the coffee table in 4A, eating take-out when the fourth nerd, Howard Wolowitz (Bernadette's husband) entered. They immediately asked him why he was late and where Amy and Bernadette were. "Oh they're out shopping for dresses for their prom thing," he informed them.

"Oh yes, I got the e-vite," Raj spoke up, "I have to admit that ever since I saw Pretty In Pink I've wanted to go to an American prom."

Howard told them, "Bernie's really excited...and I could tell because her voice got so high that the beagle next door started howling."

Raj asked Sheldon, "did you go to your prom?"

Sheldon smugly replied, "uh no...I had a date with a higher education. Instead of a tuxedo I dressed myself in good habits. Instead of spiked punch, I enjoyed the intoxicating flavor of knowledge. Instead of dancing in a gym, I shook my booty to the rhythm of calculus."

"OK, OK," interjected an exasperated Penny, reflecting the feelings of everyone.

"Besides," Sheldon quickly added, "my senior year I was only twelve."

Raj asked Penny, "how come you're not out dress shopping with Amy and Bernadette?"

Seeing her frown, Leonard guessed, "let me guess, you think the whole idea is lame?"

"Who cares what I think," Penny answered, "what do you think?"

"To be honest, the idea of going to even a fake dance with a woman as beautiful as you is kind of a dream come true for me," Leonard told her.

"Oh jeez..thanks a lot," Penny frowned again, "now I can't blow this off without being a bitch."

"That sounds like a "yes,'" Raj clapped, and everyone smiled. "Even Stuart is bringing a date...and it's not Howard's Mom."

Later that day, Penny was across the hall in 4B when she heard a familiar series of knocks: knock, knock, knock, "Penny"...knock, knock, knock, "Penny"...knock, knock, knock, "Penny"...knock, knock, knock, "Penny"...knock, knock, knock, "Penny."

She yanked the door open and confronted Sheldon, "you knocked more than usual."

"Someday I may be in a hurry," Sheldon informed her, "it doesn't hurt to have these in the bank."

"What do you want Sheldon," Penny asked.

"Well it occurred to me that since you and I are both reluctant to attend this party that Amy and Bernadette are throwing, that we could use a method I have employed on many occasions to help me get through unpleasant experiences. I used it the first time I saw you in a play."

Looking annoyed, Penny asked, "what method?"

"We can pretend we're aliens like in "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy," Sheldon responded.

"Wait...what," Penny asked incredulously. "Here's a question for you: as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to participate in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?"

"Wait...there are post-prom mating rituals," questioned Sheldon.

Penny clarified, "not always...unless your date drives a van with an air mattress...then always."

"Well if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it," Sheldon astounded her.

"You're kidding," Penny responded, her jaw dropping.

"I may be an alien, but I do have urges," Sheldon told her, "if Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, I'm more than willing to catch then in the reproductive sac on my upper-phlerman." Penny looked more puzzled than usual when talking to Sheldon and he continued, "I may not be the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on." He turned and left her apartment.

A few days later, Leonard and Sheldon were in their apartment getting ready for the prom, and Leonard was tying his roommate's bow-tie. "If you're not going to learn how to tie this, they do make a pretty good clip-on," Leonard told him.

"Bruce Wayne doesn't wear a clip-on," Sheldon replied.

"Bruce Wayne doesn't make his roommate tie his," Leonard answered.

"His name is Alfred...and yes he does," Sheldon responded.

Straightening it, Leonard commented, "perfect."

"Are you sure, this is my first prom and I want it to be perfect," Sheldon told him, putting on his tux jacket."

"I thought you were going to pretend to be an alien," Leonard asked.

"I was but Penny didn't want to...Amy didn't want to, Bernadette, Koothrappali, and Wolowitz didn't want to.

Leonard saw him stuff a silver object into his inside jacket pocket and asked, "is that a flask?"

"Oh yes," Sheldon admitted, "I've decided to embrace all the high-jinks associated with prom including spiking the punch."

"You're going to add alcohol to the punch," an amazed Leonard questioned him.

"Oh no, it's pomegranate juice," Sheldon confirmed.

"Wow, give you a leather jacket and you'd be the most bad-ass kid on the Disney Channel," Leonard told him. "So anything else planned for tonight?"

"Oh, everything: slow dancing, getting our picture taken, being elected prom king...then reminding everyone that kings are not elected," Sheldon answered, and then snorted (his version of a laugh).

"Well, while we're at it young man," Leonard teased, "I know your hormones are raging at your age, but just because all your friends are having sex, doesn't mean you have to."

"Why would you say that," Sheldon asked worriedly, "Penny implied the same thing."

Leonard explained, "well it's a known fact that a lot of people lose their virginity on prom night, but don't worry, I'm just joking with don't have hormones," and he patted his roommate on the shoulder.

They went across the hall and knocked on 4B (just a normal Leonard-knock) and Penny opened the door dressed in her old red prom dress. It was backless, revealing a good deal of cleavage and she looked absolutely ravishing. "Wow, you look great," Leonard complimented her, "I am the luckiest guy at the prom."

"You guys look so handsome," she told them, and then Amy appeared by her side dressed in a pale blue gown. "Doesn't Amy look hot Sheldon," Penny urged, "that's got to put some starch in your upper-phlerman."

"What's that," Amy looked confused.

"Oh it's a scaly genital organ that grows between the shoulder blades," Leonard explained, "try not to touch it when you're dancing."

Sheldon looked like he was having an anxiety attack as he turned to go back into his apartment, "excuse me...I can't do this. And for your information Leonard, the upper-phlerman doesn't grow out of my shoulder grows out of the bellybutton on my neck."

"Oh, right...silly me," Leonard admitted, "I was thinking of the lower-phlerman."

"I think I'd better check on Sheldon," Amy said as she opened the door to 4A.

Penny was never a nostalgic person, but standing in the hallway in her old prom dress she couldn't help but reflect on the changes in her life since she moved to Pasadena from Omaha. Her dress still fit her incredible body like a glove (maybe a little tighter glove), but this time she was going to the prom with someone she truly cared about; the only man she had ever met that she actually thought about spending the rest of her life with. Glancing at the door to 4A, she remembered that a few short years ago she had referred to that apartment as the "nerd's apartment" it was her "boyfriend's apartment." Climbing the stairs to the roof, hand in hand with Leonard like a couple of high school sweethearts, she couldn't help but feel contentment...maybe for the first time in her life.

Sipping champagne in the limo on the way to Sheldon's building, Bernadette was dressed in a shimmering blue gown and complimented Raj's date, Emily, on her shoulder tattoo. Looking sexy in a bare-shoulder red gown, Emily thanked her, "'s Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas. I kind of identify with her character."

"Oh because of the red hair," Howard suggested.

"A little I guess," Emily explained, "but I think it's more because she's covered in scars and can rip off her limbs and sew them back on." Emily had a decidedly dark personality streak.

Looking a little frightened, Bernadette responded, "I like Cinderella."

As the limousine pulled up to the curb, Raj stated, "there's Stuart and his date."

Glancing out the window, Howard seemed panicky and shouted, "oh no that's Jeannie."

"Who's Jeannie," Emily asked.

Grinning, Raj continued, "she's his cousin... that he had sex with."

"She's my second-cousin and we were fifteen. You weren't supposed to say anything," Howard excitedly answered.

"Oh it's OK, he told me that story a long time ago," Emily calmed him.

"Hey it was our first date and there was an awkward silence...what was I supposed to say," Raj admitted.

Reaching the attic, Penny and Leonard walked out into a wonderland. There were hundreds of twinkling white lights, almost like fireflies (and engineer Howard had made sure they ALL twinkled; not just a few like on a normal strand). There were white and blue streamers, flimsy strands of blue and white netting, several inflatable and bean-bag chairs and even two blow-up sofas, all covered with blankets to disguise them. There was a table of snacks and appetizers, another table of liquor bottles and a huge punch bowl with flower-shaped ice floating serenely on top. Howard had set up a sound system for dancing and a camera on a tripod with a background for taking portraits of the couples; all hooked up to his laptop. "Wow, the girls really did a great job," Leonard commented.

"It's amazing," Penny gushed, "I know I wasn't really into this but I'm so happy that I get to be your date to your first prom."

"What makes you think I didn't go to my prom...I went," Leonard answered defensively.

"Who was your date," Penny asked.

"A little lady I like to call Loneliness," he said, "but it was OK, because afterward we had a threesome with her friend Humiliation."

"Awww, well if I would have been there and seen you alone, I would have asked you to dance," Penny smiled.

"No you wouldn' was before my growth spurt," Leonard told her.

"You mean that already happened," she teased, "well you wouldn't have asked me either."

"Sure I my head...on the way home...while I was having a good cry," Leonard assured her.

Laughing, she put her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. "I can think of a big difference between that prom and this one," she whispered in his ear, "it's almost a sure thing that you're going to get lucky tonight. Just for future reference...I'm going completely commando tonight...just for you...that and this dress seemed really tight with underwear must have shrunk. Let's dance."

"But there's no music yet," Leonard observed.

"We'll make our own," Penny suggested as they put their arms around each other and began to sway.

"Who's the nerd now," Leonard teased. As they danced, Leonard held her close and said, "this is nice; I almost wish no one else were coming. Thanks for wearing your flats, by the way."

Feeling his erection pressing up against her, Penny smiled contentedly and rested her head on his shoulder, "me too...and thanks for wearing your heels."

Standing outside Sheldon's bedroom door, Amy announced, "this is sill Sheldon. I'm not going to miss another prom...I'll be on the roof."

Opening his door, Sheldon responded, "wait...I'm sorry...I really did think you were pretty. So much so that I had a panic attack. All this talk about losing one's virginity on prom night got me upset. I knew you must be feeling pressure too...even I saw how my posterior looked in these tuxedo trousers. Were you hoping we would spend the night together?"

"I'm always hoping," Amy admitted, "but tonight I just wanted us to have a nice night together. There's something I have to say and I know you're not ready and you don't have to say anything back, but...."

Interrupting her, Sheldon told her, "I love you, too."

Feeling short of breath, Amy responded, "you do?"

"Of course," Sheldon assured her, "there's no denying I have feelings for you that can't be explained in any other way. I briefly considered that I had a brain parasite, but that seemed even more far-fetched...the only conclusion was love."

Seeing Amy clutch her chest, suddenly short of breath, Sheldon announced, "I know what this're having a panic attack. Soccermom109 says the cure is to lay down and elevate your feet." Smiling and rushing into Sheldon's room, Amy lay down on his bed, kicked her heels off and put her feet on his pillow. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sheldon exclaimed, "Just because you're having an anxiety attack doesn't mean there are girls allowed in my room...oh, what the Hell," and he sat down beside her. "This may be the pomegranate juice talking but I might be ready to explore some of those other prom night rituals after all."

When the limp arrived at Sheldon's apartment building, the passengers had finally calmed down after what was actually a physical confrontation between Howard and Stuart. Howard had accused Stuart of using his family-tree as his dating pool and it escalated from there. Finally Bernadette had shrieked, her voice like a siren, "everyone just shut-up and have a good time."

Stepping out onto the roof, and seeing Leonard and Penny in a passionate embrace, Howard asked, "are we interrupting anything...or should we just be quiet and watch?"

"Very funny Howard," Leonard responded, "what took you guys so long?"

Chiming in, and not wanting to get things started again, Emily answered: "it was the stairs...what the hell. What happened to the elevator...those stairs are a killer when you're wearing heels...right Penny."

Lifting the hem of her gown to show her feet, Penny replied, "you're asking the wrong girl."

"Yeah, the elevator is a long story," Leonard quickly interjected, "hey Howard, how about some music...I didn't want to mess with your laptop."

Within the next ten minutes, Howard, Raj , and even Stuart had visited the punch-bowl and surreptitiously spiked the punch with flasks of vodka; now knowing that Bernadette had already mixed some Grey Goose in when she made the punch.

"Hey, where's our resident alien," Howard wanted to know.

"Oh he's downstairs being Sheldon," Leonard informed everyone, "and Amy's trying to talk some sense into him...good luck with that."

Howard had programmed a nice mix of slow and dance music and everyone drank, snacked, and danced. All the couples posed for the camera and checked out the photos on Howard's laptop. As the evening progressed, all the participants were becoming more and more inebriated and inhibition-free. The slow dances became more sensuous with hands grasping ass cheeks and the faster ones more risque as shoulder straps slipped and breasts bounced nearly free. Penny whispered in Leonard's ear, "of all the proms I've been to...this is the only one I want to remember forever."

His voice becoming slurred, Leonard agreed and urged, "more pictures then."

Amy had turned over onto her stomach, and Sheldon was massaging her shoulders. "You know," he remarked, "this would be more effective if your shoulder straps weren't in the way." Seeing an opportunity that she thought would never come, Amy sat up and swiftly shoved the arms of her dress down her arms and pushed her dress down to her waist, exposing her pale breasts. Penny had convinced her to forego a bra so that she didn't ruin "the flow of the dress," and it had made her feel so naughty. Quickly she lay back down and a shocked Sheldon calmly said, "alrighty," and resumed his massage of her shoulders and now her bare back. "Are you feeling better," Sheldon asked as he continued to rub her back, his strokes extending way down her sides and actually touching the sides of her breasts as they flattened out beneath her.

"Much better," Amy moaned, "maybe I should turn over so that you can do the know that might make my recovery faster."

"Perhaps," Sheldon mused, "although I don't see why it should...but we can experiment purely for scientific reasons."Amy turned over on her back, displaying her naked breasts and a huge smile. "Oh my," they're much larger than I anticipated." Seeing her surprisingly ample breasts flatten out on her chest, Sheldon's hands were inexplicably drawn to their flesh. Her areola were large round brown circles surrounding jellybean sized nipples and Sheldon began to massage and knead them in the palms of his hands. Then something even more amazing happened: Sheldon Cooper began to get an erection. "Oh my, what's happening," he thought to himself as his trousers got tighter."

Continuing to massage her soft flesh, Sheldon became even more aroused; something he thought he was immune to. Amy's body squirmed under his touch and he found himself suggesting, "perhaps I should expand my area of massage to speed your recovery."

"My thoughts speed my recovery," Amy agreed as she hopped off the side of the bed, not wanting to miss this opportunity, and shoved the dress down and off her body. "Oh what the Hell," she mumbled, "it's now or never," and proceeded to slide her surprisingly sexy panties (she had borrowed them from Penny) down her legs and jump back on the bed. "OK maestro, work your magic," she invited Sheldon. A shocked Sheldon began to massage her pale stomach, all the while his eyes focused on the dark mound between her legs. At Penny's urging, Amy had trimmed her bush until it was more like a short carpet, rather than her former jungle. As Sheldon moved lower with his hands, Amy suggestively spread her legs, hoping he would get the hint.

"Just to clarify things," Sheldon calmly stated, "you realize I'm not ready for coitus."

"I know Sheldon," Amy replied, "but there are other ways to enjoy mutual pleasure...don't be afraid."

Sheldon kept moving his hands lower until he was actually massaging her moistening mound. He had never experienced this before, but he was a genius and he had a doctor's knowledge of the human anatomy. His fingers grazed her hidden slit as he rubbed up and down her crotch. Squirming under his touch, Amy's body jerked as his index finger found it's way into her slit. Realizing where he was, Sheldon slowly slid his digit through her opening and into her pussy. "Oh Sheldon...yesss," Amy gasped as he started to finger her hairy cunt. He quickly added a second finger, moving his body so he could get a closer look.

"This is fascinating," he proclaimed, "it seems the more stimulated you become, the more natural lubricant is produced. I guess I have read about this, but not having any interest in the biological sciences, I just dismissed them." His thumb accidentally brushed against her clit which was hidden by her bush and her body twitched and shuddered, her cunt muscles clamping down on his fingers. "Oh my," he exclaimed, "is that the result of an orgasm?"

Licking her lips and breathing heavily, Amy gasped, "ohhh yesss Sheldon, yesss, that's exactly right."

Sheldon withdrew his fingers, saw they were saturated with Amy's juices and looked around the room searching for something to wipe them on. He spied her discarded panties and, somewhat reluctantly, picked them up and cleaned his fingers with them. Amy lay back on his bed, and suggested, "now I think it's time I reciprocated."

"What do you have in mind," Sheldon questioned.

She scooted down on his bed and slipped his suit jacket off, untied his tie, then began to unbutton his shirt. "Oh I see," he remarked, "you're naked, so I must be naked as well...alright." Shrugging his shirt off his arms, he let her assist him in taking off his plain white t-shirt. He stood beside the bed while Amy deftly unbuckled, unbuttoned and unzipped his trousers before shoving them down to his knees. He shoved them the rest of the way off with his feet, then paused to fold everything and place his clothes on a chair. Holding her breath, Amy slowly hooked her fingers inside his waistband and lowered his plain tighty-whities.

She gasped when his erection snapped back from the waistband and just sat staring at the object of her affection. It was a respectable six inches with a rather large crown, and it was of course the largest Amy had ever seen (also the first). Sheldon, feeling self-conscious, sat down on the edge of the bed beside her, their thighs touching. Amy lay back against the pillows, urging Sheldon to join her. When he did, his penis laying on his stomach was like a magnet drawing her hand, and she gently grasped his cock, feeling it's heat and rigidness against her fingers. As inexperienced as she was, it must have been instinct, as she began to stroke her hand up and down on his shaft, jerking him off. "Oh my, that feels surprisingly good," he admitted as she jerked his prick.

Boldly, Amy crawled down between Sheldon's legs, never releasing his penis, until she was kneeling between his thighs. His eyes widening, Sheldon watched as Amy unclenched her hand and leaned forward, opening her mouth. She extended her tongue and licked a drop of pre-cum from his slit before gingerly enveloping his hard-on with her lips. Fondling his scrotum with her hands, she began to suckle at his cock, licking the underside with her tongue. "Oh my... oh my," Sheldon's body jerked as he threw his head back against the pillow, "that feels wonderful."

Amy lovingly sucked his cock until she felt his body begin to shiver. He attempted to shove her head off his prick, but Amy would have nothing of it; she wanted to capture every last drop of his precious seed. He literally erupted in her mouth, a copious amount of cum spraying against the back of her throat. Amy swallowed as fast as she could, marveling at the slippery, salty juice in her mouth. Sheldon's body convulsed like he was having an epileptic seizure, before totally relaxing back against the pillows. Amy let his shrinking prick slip from her lips, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and crawled back up to lay beside him. "That was amazing," Sheldon told her.

"It was," she agreed as she picked up his arm and draped it around her shoulders. They lay there basking in the afterglow for a long time, not talking, but staring into each others eyes. Finally Amy suggested, "you know, we really spent a lot of time decorating the roof...we really should put in an appearance."

Sheldon nodded, "I guess you're right...besides, I'm sure everyone is just waiting for me to arrive so they can have a good time...after all, I am the life of a party. You may want to use some mouthwash before we go...perhaps you should use Leonard's." They kissed, dressed and headed for the attic.

Since she was the smallest, the alcohol had affected Bernadette the quickest and during one of the "disco" numbers she began to do an impromptu strip-tease in front of Howard. Swaying her wide hips, she reached behind her and slowly unzipped her sparkling gown (which DID look like Cinderella's gown). Teasing Howard, as if no one else was present, she inched the sleeves off her arms and the gown down to her waist. She had worn a very lacy and flimsy pale blue bra to match her dress and it barely contained her huge breasts. Releasing the front-closure, she shrugged the straps down her arms and then whisked the bra off, tossing it aside. Her tits were mammoth, especially on her petite torso. They must have been 38 D at least, and when she danced they swung back and forth like fleshy pendulums.

Laughing, she shoved her gown past her wide hips and down her short legs until it hit the roof and then she simply stepped out of it, leaving it where it landed. Finding it increasingly difficult to stand on her wobbly heels, she kicked then off and began dancing wearing just a tiny blue thong. Suddenly all the other couples had crowded around and were watching her performance. They all began to drunkenly clap, and encourage her: "go...go...go." All reason had long since been washed away, and a blushing Bernadette obligingly hooked her thumbs into her underwear and slid it down over her hips. When it hit the roof, they saw that her mound was completely bald and that her labia were incredibly long; but what really shocked them was the tiny gold ring piercing her left lip.

They all cheered when she was naked and Bernadette actually bowed, before telling her husband, "all right Howie...your turn." Without the slightest hesitation, Howard began to shed his tux and underpants (a wild leopard print bikini). His prick resembled a hot dog, both in length and girth as it waved in front of him. Bernadette took his hand, lay back in one of the blanket-covered beanbags and ordered him, "now stick Little Howie up my pussy and fuck your Bernie-Wernie." Wasting no time, Howard kneeled on the blanket between her wide-spread legs and shoved his "hot dog" into her slit. "Ohhh yesss...fuck me Howie," she moaned.

To their surprise, no one felt even the tiniest bit embarrassed and all went back to dancing with their partners.The next time Penny and Leonard stopped for a cup of punch, they saw Jeannie sitting on the edge of one of the tables, her gown bunched up around her waist and Stuart thrusting his cock in and out of her pussy like a rabbit in heat. They tried to ignore them, and went over to one of the inflatable sofas to sit.

About the same time, Emily sank to her knees in front of Raj and began to unbutton and unbuckle his pants. Yanking them down, along with his boxers, his semi-erect prick sprang out and slapped her in the chin. Watching all this, Penny pointed and nudged Leonard to look. "Holy shit," Leonard exclaimed as Raj's penis started to grow. As Emily stroked it, Raj's cock grew to nearly thirteen inches in length and as fat as a Coke can. Penny had actually slept with Raj once, but had never seen him naked. She had taken off her clothes and then passed out in a drunken stupor. For years Raj had let her think they had sex, but had finally admitted that nothing happened. Emily had been cold toward her for months until Raj set the situation straight."I'm looks like you chose the wrong nerd," Leonard softly said to Penny, a deep saddened look on his face.

Seeing the look and falling in love with him all over again, Penny reassured him, "no I didn't...I'm here with my King of the Prom and I wouldn't have it any other way." She cradled his face in her hands and kissed him long and hard.

Obviously used to handling the giant meat, Emily stretched her lips around the tennis ball sized crown and sucked on just the tip. With both hands trying to encircle the pole, she looked like she had a baseball bat in her grasp. Smiling from ear to ear, Raj leaned over and deftly slid her shoulder straps down her arms, as she momentarily released his log. Emily's breasts were not large, but round and perky and Penny and Leonard could not help but notice that both nipples had been pierced with tiny silver bars passing through them, and numerous tattoos of skulls and dragons on her upper body. Raj fondled her tits as she suckled and stroked his massive rod.

Grabbing her red hair and pulling her up to him, it was obvious that she enjoyed being handled roughly, since it was not Raj's nature to be forceful. He virtually tore her dress the rest of the way down, revealing that she too had chosen to go completely commando. She had trimmed her pubic hair into a thin red landing-strip just above her slit. Emily had gone Bernadette one better and a tiny silver bar had pierced her very prominent clit. "Holy crap that must have hurt," Penny commented.

Leonard softly teased, "it looks like someone here is way behind the curve on fashion accessories."

"Would you like me to get something pierced," she asked, hoping he said "no."

"Oh God no," Leonard quickly replied, "you can't improve on perfection...besides, I'm afraid I might chip a tooth."

Her voice noticeably slurred, Penny stuck her tongue in his ear and asked, "have I told you lately that I love you."

"Nope...not lately," Leonard answered and cradled her head in his hands as he kissed her long and passionately. He still wasn't a huge fan of her new short haircut, but he would never tell her that.

Raj grabbed a blanket off one of the beanbag chairs, threw it on the roof and lay down; his log looking like a boa constrictor was crawling on his stomach. Emily's slender, limber body straddled his waist and she grasped his penis, pointing it up toward the night sky. The sight was incongruous: her willowy body seemed barely larger than his huge pole and it seemed impossible that if would fit inside her. But she was obviously used to accommodating it because she wasted no time in wedging the giant crown between her slit and beginning her descent. It seemed like magic the way his massive meat disappeared into her belly. The attractive redhead did not stop lowering her lithe body until she was completely impaled on Raj's horse-cock.

"Oh fuck," Emily groaned as she threw her head back, her red hair coming loose from it's swirl and now cascading down her naked back. She surprised everyone when she slapped Raj's face and demanded, "fuck me you Indian God...fuck your little slave...split my fucking cunt." It was obvious that this was a regular part of their lovemaking as Raj began to thrust his hips upward as hard as he could, jamming his giant pole into her pliant hole. He grasped her slim waist and pulled her down to meet his thrusts, stuffing every inch inside her. Leaning up, he alternated biting her nipple-bars, pulling them forward and then letting them snap back into her chest. "Oh yesss...fuck me Raj," Emily screeched as her body thrashed on top of him.

"You know," Leonard suggested to Penny, "it seems like we're missing out on what Sheldon calls "the rituals of prom night.'" You could literally smell sex in the air. Sheldon would have called it pheromones, but it was pure sex.

Cuddling up to him, Penny agreed, "yeah, and I can't wait to feel your big beautiful cock inside me...I'm already totally wet."

Standing in front of him, Penny turned her back to Leonard and asked, "would you mind doing the honors."

"I would be my absolute pleasure," Leonard assured her as he stood and began to unzip the back of her skin-tight gown. True to her word, Leonard saw no trace of underwear as the zipper slipped past her perfectly round ass cheeks. "Have I told you lately that you have an amazing ass," he mumbled as he kneeled and buried his face between her cheeks."

"Yes, I believe you have...on several occasions, although I'm not objecting to hearing it again," she giggled at the sensation of him nuzzling her ass. Standing up again, they embraced and kissed passionately for what seemed like minutes. Then Leonard backed her up and sat her down on the blanket covered air-couch. Gazing at her incredible naked body, he thought his prick was going to blow a hole in his pants. Her firm breasts were a picturesque 35 C with pink gumdrop nipples that were now hard as granite. Her trim waist gave way to her flared hips (Sheldon's mother would have referred to them as "child bearing hips") and endlessly long legs. Penny kept her mound shaved bald because she knew it turned Leonard on, and her fleshy mound resembled two halves of a peach. She was his goddess.

"My God, I am the luckiest man on universe," he softly reminded himself.

"I feel pretty lucky myself," she surprised him because he thought he had been thinking it instead of verbalizing it.

Dropping to his knees between her silky thighs, Leonard breathed in the scent of her arousal as he used his thumbs to spread her damp slit. He blew air up inside her as he marveled at how vivid pink her pussy was. Parting her lips with his nose and brushing against her pronounced clit, he thought it looked like a teeny tiny penis at the top of her opening. She began to squirm as he dipped his tongue deep inside her, scooping her juices out and loudly slurping them down. "You taste sooo good," he murmured into her crotch. Reaching up with both hands, he squeezed and kneaded her marvelous tits while her body bucked against his face and he drank her orgasm.

"You are so fucking good at that," she moaned as he ate her pussy, munching on her mound. "You seem to be a might overdressed," she observed as he sat back on his heels, licking his lips.

He was the only one on the roof who hadn't exposed his genitals, and he stood between her legs as she unzipped his pants. He drew his own shirt off over his head, not bothering to unbutton it, followed by his undershirt. Penny was still amazed and flattered at the definition of his arms and chest. He had begun a workout program just after they met, trying to impress her. Pulling his trousers and boxers down, she was rewarded by the sight of his eight inch, very fat erection already at attention and waiting for her. He kicked off his shiny dress shoes so she could pull his pants legs off, keeping his socks on (they were on a roof). Briefly, she took his bulbous crown into her mouth and ran her tongue up and down his shaft, but she had more pressing needs.

Laying back on the inflatable sofa, she spread her wonderful legs and invited him, "I need to feel you inside me baby...fuck me lover...shove that big beautiful cock up my pussy."

Marveling at the nude beauty in front of him, Leonard couldn't help but exclaim, "God you're beautiful."

"I bet you say that to all the blondes who ask you to fuck them," she teased.

"Well, given my vast experience of're right," Leonard admitted, as he nudged his large crown between her moist slit. He loved the way her lips separated and surrounded his head as he slowly pushed forward. Her mound parted to accommodate him, gripping his hard-on as he slid deliberately into her cunt. The farther he advanced inside her tunnel, the more the warmth surrounded his cock until finally his balls rested against her ass cheeks. "Holy crap your pussy feels nice," he commended her.

Feeling the length of her pussy stretching around Leonard's fat prick, Penny responded, "geez your cock feels so good inside's a perfect fit. I love you fuck me...fuck your little Penny." With the first few strokes, he went excruciatingly slow, letting her relish the way his cock slid in and out of her wet hole, then he gradually began to pick up the pace. "Oh my God...don't tease me like that," she begged, "fuck me baby...fuck me hard." He smiled and began to ram his cock in and out of her pussy, his balls slapping against her cheeks. He loved the way her breasts subtly spread out on her chest, still firm, but flatter...the way they jiggled when he shoved into her.

In love with the sensation of his thick cock sliding in and out of her hole, she urged, "oh God, baby...fuck me...fuck me...jam that big fucking cock into me." Leonard reached under her, grasped her perfect cheeks in his hands and began to draw her body into him as he thrust forward. Her sopping cunt was making "squishy" sounds as he slammed into her. Leaning forward Leonard wrapped his lops around her right gumdrop nipple and actually began to chew on it (he made sure to start with the right tit, because she had accused him jokingly of "always going left"). Penny's body quivered and her vaginal muscles gripped his rod tightly as she flooded their groins with her orgasm.

This spurred Leonard to thrust even harder, attempting to jam even more cock inside her opening. He ground his pelvis against hers, trapping her swollen clit and making her body convulse multiple times. "Ahhhhhh," she groaned, "fuck me baby...fuck me...I love your fucking cock." Feeling her cunt muscles squeeze his prick, Leonard started to pump her hole full of his seed, holding her body tight against his and biting her nipple, maybe too hard. "Oh fuck...yesss...yesss," she screamed into his shoulder, biting down and leaving marks, her shapely legs flailing to her sides.

They held each other tight until they both felt his penis shriveling and slipping out of her hole, then Penny collapsed back against the bouncy sofa. Leonard sat back on his heels, watching her pussy slowly close; long strings of his cum drooling out. "God she's beautiful," he thought.

"No one has ever made me feel the way you do every time," she assured him, "if you ever try to leave me, be prepared, because I'm going to go all Nebraska on you."

"Can't see that happening," Leonard reassured her, "once you've known perfection...there is no where to go but down."

"You old sweet talker," Penny grinned, "you're pretty smooth for a nerd." He sat on the couch next to her, rearranging the blanket so he wasn't sitting on the bare plastic, and put his arm around her as they watched what was going on around them.

Jeannie lay back on the table, cups and chips falling onto the roof, as Stuart slid in and out of her pussy like a six inch piston. He began to grunt and sweat profusely as he slammed into her hairy mound. With her dress hiked up to her belly button, you could see she had trimmed her dark bush into a nice, neat triangle pointing toward her slit like an arrow. You could tell Stuart was reaching the point of no return, and Jeannie sat up, pushed him back and slid off the table onto her knees. She quickly pulled the top of her gown down to her waist exposing very nice, if slightly saggy,34 C breasts.

"Cum on my tits," she ordered a surprised Stuart. She wrapped her fingers around his prick, jerked it back and forth and suddenly long strings of semen were shooting all over her face. Redirecting her aim, she watched as he coated her breasts with his cum. When he had finished, Jeannie proceeded to massage his deposit into her skin like moisturizing cream. "Pure protein...good for the skin," she told him as he looked on. Maybe she was right, as her breasts and face seemed to glow.

Bernadette and the blanket had slipped off the beanbag and was now laying on the roof with her short legs wrapped around Howard's skinny waist. "Cum in me Howie," she ordered as her incredible tits flopped up and down against her chest, "let me feel it." It was as if he didn't dare disobey her, and he began to shove up into her as hard as he could. "Oh yesss, do me Howie...fuck me." Suddenly she rolled them over and began to ride him like a rodeo star. Her tit bags flopped aimlessly up and down, slapping against her chest as she bounced on his lap, impaling herself on his cock. Her body began to tremble and she lay flat on top of her husband, letting her pussy muscles milk him. Rolling off and laying next to Howard on the blanket, she soothed him, "that was nice Howie."

Raj reached around Emily, gripped her ass cheeks so hard he left fingerprints and started to shove up into her pussy with almost violent force. He was pulling on her cheeks so hard that her anus was exposed and Emily lay forward against Raj and yelled at Howard, "since you're done over there, get over here and fuck my ass."

"Oh yes it," Raj invited him, "we usually use a gel toy."

Howard looked sheepishly at Bernadette, who gave him permission, "go ahead...give it to her hard."

He virtually ran over to where Raj was laying, his penis hard by the time he got there. Already slick from Bernadette's pussy, Howard knelt behind Emily's slender ass, her ass hole already visible and placed his crown against her opening. "Come on...shove it in," Emily demanded when she felt him hesitate. Never one to refuse sex, Howard pushed forward, sliding easily into her anus despite her belly already being full of cock. "Oh fucking yes," Emily screamed, "shove those fucking cocks in me." Her enthusiasm seemed to spur them on, as Raj and Howard rammed into her holes so hard her, seemingly, fragile body shook. There was no doubt that she loved being battered as she slammed her slender body onto their cocks. Raj reached around her and began to pull on her breast piercings, treating her tits like rubber bands.

Emily leaned over, placed her hands on the blanket on either side of Raj's head and screeched as her body began to convulse: "oh yessss...yesss...fill my holes." Almost out of fear of the redheaded firecracker, Raj and Howard almost immediately began to squirt their semen up into her body.

Bernadette, meanwhile, was not content to just be a spectator as she crooked her finger at Stuart and assumed the doggy-position on all fours. "I've seen the way you look at my it's yours, comic boy," she offered. Crawling up behind her pale, large ass and smearing the cum that had dribbled down into her ass crack all over his head, Stuart spread them with his hands and presented his crown at her opening. "It should be easy, Howie does my ass all the time," Bernadette urged him. Pushing against her sphincter ring, Stuart easily began to slide into her ass-hole."

"I've never done this before," he admitted, "it feels kinda good.'

"Yeah, yeah, less talking and more fucking," Bernadette asserted herself, "why do guys always have to talk." As Stuart began thrusting in and out of Bernadette's ass, her huge tits swayed under her like giant water balloons. They seemed to invite Jeannie, who shoved her dress off her body and crawled on her back underneath Bernadette's naked form. She began to lick the tiny blonde's slit, while fondling Stuart's scrotum. "Oh that's it...right there," Bernadette confirmed as Jeannie lapped at her clit, "holy shit, yessss." Bernadette shivered when Jeannie bit down on her nub, and Jeannie abandoned Stuart's balls to begin kneading Bernadette's massive jugs. It was fun, like squeezing those rice filled tension-release balls.

Leaning down, Bernadette was exactly in line with Jeannie's pussy she she began to lap at her hairy slit like a thirsty dog on a hot day. She slurped a long strand of Stuart's cum through her lips like a strand of spaghetti and poked her tongue inside Jeannie's slit. Unable to hold out any longer, Stuart put his hands around Bernadette's waist, jammed his cock up her ass and pumped whatever load he had left into her rectum.

Howard sat on the blanket by Emily watching his wife's ass being violated and smiled as he thought to himself, "man she looks good doing that...she could have been a porn star."

Rolling off Raj, Emily saw him glancing at the nude Penny and encouraged him: "you've had a thing for her for years, this may be your only shot...go fuck the Hell out of her...but don't forget who's taking you home*," and she squeezed his scrotum so hard it was painful.

Raj stood up and casually wandered over to where Leonard and Penny were sitting, his enormous cock swinging between his legs like an anaconda. Seeing him coming their way, Penny could not take her eyes off his penis. The last time she had seen a prick that large was back on the farm...on their stud horse. She had never been a size queen, and she truly believed Leonard's tool was the perfect size for her, but she had always wondered what a truly huge cock would feel like inside her. Seeing her eyes fixated between Raj's legs, Leonard, somewhat sadly, consented, "I love you...but go ahead...just let me be a part of it somehow."

Not believing what she heard, Penny replied, "I have to admit to being intrigued. It's only a dick...I love YOU. I think I have an idea...." Raj stood in front of her, his pendulum swing back and forth, never saying a word. Penny reached out, grasped his member with both hands and lifted it up to her face. As soon as she touched his flesh, it began to grow...longer and harder. He had dreamed about this for years, as he watched Penny lean forward, extend her tongue, and begin to lick his tennis-ball crown. If he hadn't just cum in Emily's pussy, he would have definitely shot a load all over Penny's angelic face. "Mmm, Emily taste's good," Penny commented as she licked his shaft.

Standing up, Penny indicated for Raj to sit down on the inflatable sofa. He relaxed against the back, his pole laying against his stomach, as Penny straddled his groin, her back to him. Reaching back between her legs, Penny grasped Raj's prick and pointed it up, aiming it at her crotch. She asked Leonard, "would you mind baby." He read her mind, and he gently used his fingers to spread her fleshy lips apart, exposing her hole. Leonard's cum drooled out of her pussy, coating Raj's crown and providing much needed lubrication. Slowly she lowered her magnificent naked body, her lips spreading to accommodate the over-sized shaft. When the bulbous head popped through her opening, stretching it farther than it had ever been, Penny just moaned, "ohhhhh."

Having a birds-eye view, Leonard could not believe his beloved girlfriend was attempting to impale herself on Raj's "fence-post," it just didn't seem possible. Getting used to his huge crown, Penny convinced herself that if the head fit...the rest would too. Slowly she bent her knees, allowing more and more of his monstrous cock to stretch her tunnel. Leonard had released her puffy lips and was now sucking her gumdrop nipple (the right one !) into his mouth. She felt Raj's soft girl-like hands gripping her waist as he guided her down on his huge hard-on. Gently sitting down until her bare ass rested on Raj's lap, Penny allowed every inch of his massive pole to penetrate her cunt.

Feeling the length of her tunnel stretch farther than it had ever been, Penny groaned, "oh God, your cock is so fucking big." She could swear it was putting pressure against her diaphragm as she twisted her body atop his groin. After a few seconds, Penny began to raise up, feeling his horse-cock slide out of her hole; her tunnel shrinking behind it. Leaning forward, she braced herself by putting her palms on he knees and started to sink down and raise up...fucking herself on his enormous prick.

Raj watched her naked body raise up and down, her perfect ass cheeks slapping against his groin. He could make out her fleshy mound gripping his pole and he thought to himself, "holy shit...I'm fucking Penny." He started to thrust upward, jamming his snake up into her pussy.

"Oh my fucking God...fuck me...fuck me," Penny begged as she felt her hole being stretched with each stroke. Leonard just sat back and watched his beautiful girlfriend being fucked by his friend...a giant cock slamming in and out of her cunt. He initially felt somewhat sad, but the pure raw sexuality won out and he was fascinated by how flexible her pussy really was. The way her magnificent tits were jiggling up and down was almost hypnotizing as she rode Raj's prick. Suddenly she stopped, and just sat on Raj's lap, smiling at Leonard. "Come here lover," she beckoned with a crooked finger, and pointed to her crotch,"I told you I had an idea. I think I am sufficiently stretched now, so I want you to join us...I want my lover to fuck me too." Noticing Leonard's puzzled expression, she clarified: "I want you both in my pussy."

In his mind, he knew that it would be breaking all laws of Physics, but Leonard could never pass up the opportunity to fuck his blonde goddess. "Are you sure," he wanted to know, "I don't want to hurt you."

"I want you inside me, lover," Penny assured him, "besides...babies pass through there don't they." Leonard knew there were all kinds of hormonal changes that allowed the birth canal to expand, but he wasn't going to be the nerdish party-pooper that Sheldon would have been...he just wanted to make her happy. He watched his blond Wonder Woman lay back against Raj's chest, reach down with both hands, hook her fingers into her slit and pull her fleshy lips as wide as she could get them. Surprisingly she actually opened some space around Raj's giant meat stick. Looking at the monstrous pole in his girlfriend's pussy genuinely turned Leonard on and it felt like his penis grew even harder.

Sitting atop of Raj, her body was high enough that Leonard didn't even have to kneel. He stuck two fingers inside Penny's pussy, gathered some additional lubrication and smeared it around his crown. Presenting his head to her already filled hole, he began to push forcefully against her mound, the bottom of his rigid prick resting atop Raj's. Pushing as hard as he could, Leonard thought, "this is never going to work...there's just no room."

Seemingly reading his thoughts, Penny reassured him, "come on'll fit...shove harder." Seeing that she was gritting her teeth, he gazed at her incredible nude body and rammed forward, trying to get his bulbous crown to break through. As she pulled her lips apart obscenely wide, the head of his cock penetrated her opening and wedged inside her hole. "Holy fucking shit," Penny gasped as she released her lips and grasped handfuls of the blanket under them. After a few seconds, Penny coaxed Leonard, "go ahead baby...jam that big beautiful cock all the way in." Suddenly more turned on than ever, Leonard complied as now he grit his teeth, grasped her slim waist with both hands, and shoved forward with all his strength.

In one thrust he was buried in her already full pussy, his balls resting atop Raj's pole. "Oh my fucking God," Penny screamed so loud that half of Pasadena could have heard her, as her naked body thrashed between them. Her cunt was completely stuffed with hard cock, every nerve ending in her tunnel being stimulated...and then they began to fuck her. Their cocks acting as one gigantic pole, they started to thrust in and out of her cunt, Leonard's prick scraping against her clit with every stroke. She squirmed between them as they shoved their hard meat in and out of her previously tight pussy. Leonard looked down and watched her fleshy lips grip their cocks as they penetrated her, a white froth building up around her opening.

She began to claw at her own magnificent tits as they jiggled against her chest. "Holy fucking shit I love your cocks," she squealed, "fuck me harder...stuff my fucking cunt...fuck me...fuck me...fuck me." The sensation was indescribable as they stretched her cunt with nearly two feet of hard cock. Feeling her pussy walls expand and contract as they fucked her, Penny had more orgasms than she could count...she couldn't imagine a better feeling, and she never wanted them to stop fucking her. It was as if she couldn't get enough cock as she begged, "fuck me...fuck me...fuck me." Leonard leaned over and began to alternate between her rosy pink gumdrops, suckling and gnawing on her tender flesh. She whispered loudly in the direction of his ear, "I love you so much babe."

"Oh my God...stuff my fucking cunt," she moaned as they hammered her hole with their large poles, stretching her to new extremes with every thrust. She could barely think straight as they over-stimulated her...her body shivering as their cocks pounded in and out of her pussy. "Cum in me...I need to feel your cum in me," she urged as they stuffed her hole.

"Are you ready buddy," Leonard asked Raj.

"Are you kidding, I've been ready," Raj answered as he thrust up into the blonde beauty.

Jamming their thick poles up Penny's cunt and holding them there, Leonard and Raj started to empty their balls into the most beautiful body they had ever seen. As they pumped and ground their pelvises into her mound, Penny's nude body twitched and squirmed as she matched their orgasms. "Yessss...yesss...yesss," she screeched, "fuck me...fuck me...fuck me." Both Raj and Leonard were perspiring profusely as they pumped her full of their cum, and Leonard lay atop his girlfriend, completely exhausted. She whispered to him, "thank you baby," and kissed the top of his head.

After a couple minutes, Leonard felt his shrinking penis reluctantly slipping out of Penny's pussy and he rolled off her glistening body to sit beside her. She in turn rolled off of Raj and sat in her boyfriend's lap. He cradled her magnificent naked body and kissed her passionately, their tongues playing tag. Raj went over to where Emily was sitting and they too embraced like high school lovers. Realizing his lap was getting moist, Leonard looked down between Penny's creamy thighs and saw that her cunt was no longer a slit, but was now a wide open hole and she was leaking gobs of cum.

He couldn't resist; it seemed like her hole was inviting him, so he cupped his thumb under his extended fingers and began to slide it between her wet lips. Inviting him to proceed, Penny spread her legs, draping one off the edge of the sofa and watched as he slowly inserted his hand into her pussy. She was so wet and stretched that his last knuckles disappeared inside her cunt with surprising ease.

Once he was wrist deep inside her pussy, Leonard began to flex and wiggle his fingers against her walls, stimulating her G-spot. "Oh my God babe," she groaned, "that feels so amazing." Leonard closed his fist and began to fuck her, first slowly and then ramming his fist in and out of her hole. "Holy fucking shit," she begged him, "fuck me babe...fuck me...jam your fucking fist into me." Extending his thumb inside her and stimulating her nerve endings, suddenly Penny's body convulsed and she opened her mouth, but only the sound, "ahhhhhh," would come out. Her thighs trapped his hand inside her as her cunt muscles squeezed his fist. "Ohhhhh God," she gasped when her body finally relaxed and Leonard gently withdrew his slick hand.

Looking around the roof, she was relieved to see that no one was paying any attention to them, and she relaxed in her lover's arms. As everyone on the roof cuddled and spooned, the effects of the punch gradually wore off, and soon they were gathering up the discarded clothing and getting dressed again.

When Sheldon and Amy reached the roof, the four couples were dancing to the song, "Save the Last Dance For Me*," and it was as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred.
"Oh my, this is amazing," Sheldon exclaimed when he saw the twinkling lights and heard the music, "I'm glad we came up." Amy put her arms around his neck, he surrounded her waist with his skinny arms and they began to sway to the rhythm. Glancing to his left, Sheldon saw his roommate dancing and sharing a deep kiss with his blond neighbor and thought to himself that all seemed right with the world.

*a tribute to "The Drifters"

(Thanks for reading my story. I know it's not perfect, but it's just for fun. All comments are welcome. [email protected])


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