Starring Amanda Bynes
By Wonder Mike
Welcome to Ask Ashley That's me, This is a public service where I will
help people with their problems.
I first of all want to thank all you wonderful people for taking the time
to write and e mail me, without you this program would not be possible, I
would like to thank each of you personally, I really mean it.
The first question comes from Terri Cain from Truth or Consequence new
Mexico, Terri asks
"Dear Ashley" "That's me." "My vegetable crisper is broken, it has frozen
my cucumbers and I don't know how to defrost them.
"Well, Terri you don't now how to defrost your cucumbers, I can help you."
What the fuck is wrong with you do I have to tell you everything, you
can't figure out how to defrost your cucumbers? Let me guess your a first
grade drop out. I hope you have figured out that you have to put your pants
on one leg at a time, but I doubt it. How can you defrost a cucumber. Well,
let me think.
I have a frozen cucumber here, lets see how I can warm it up. I can slip
out of my jeans, now I can remove my wonder woman panties, girls if Ashley
can't be your role model "That's Me" then it should be wonder woman.
I am rubbing my little slit now, you see as I rub it faster and faster I
build up friction and it gets really warm. You will have to excuse me it is
getting hard for me to talk.
My 12 year old pussy is all nice and wet now, I am slipping the cucumber
inside of it now. I am sliding the cucumber in and out of me pussy now, this
makes my pussy even warmer. The faster I, I, move it the warmer it gets.
You will see when Ashley That's me, grabs the cucumber with both hands
I can ram it in even faster, it also feels even better.
I am now putting my right leg behind my neck, I bet you didn't know how
flexible Ashley is. When I lay like this I can shove the cucumber in even
deeper, watch. I bet you didn't think I could get it all the way in.
You know what makes Ashley feel even better, it is when you defrost 2
cucumbers at the same time, watch and be amazed.
Somebody get me another cucumber quickly, thanks. I am rubbing my pussy
with one hand while I work the first cumber in and out. My little slit is
wet enough to fit them both in now, watch as Ashley That's me, works both
vegetables into her cunt, that's right.
As you will be able to see after I pull the cucumbers out, they are
dripping wet with my juices and the melted ice, they are almost completely
To finish the cucumbers and myself, I have to work them hard and fast now,
I have a cucumber in each hand now, I am working them alternately in and out,
God that feels good.
If you have more cucumbers to defrost, you can even do another one at the
same time. Will somebody get me a freaking cucumber stat.
Ok as you can see, I am inserting a finger into Mr. Brownie, also known
as my ass. I will work my middle finger in and out, while I use my other hand
to shove the two cucumbers in and out of my cunt.
I am now adding a second finger to my ass. I am now able to get them both
in all the way to the knuckle, do you like the way I move them in and out I
bet you do. that's why you write to Ask Ashley, That's me.
I am now slipping the third veggie into my ass, it is a tight fit, but if
I do it real slow, I can get the whole thing in, I bet I can.
I have it half way now, and remember, if you try this at home, you should
use your right hand to move the two cucumbers in your cunt, and use your left
one to work in the one in your ass.
Since my ass is a lot tighter than my young pussy, it will take only half
as long to defrost in their, see.
The cucumbers are now completely defrosted, and so am I. Now Terri, you
stupid cunt, don't ask anymore idiotic questions.
Now lets get to the next letter from my wonderful fans, this comes from
Pamela Rider from, Calgary, Alberta Canada, I really love Canada, it is my
favorite country, next of course to the country that all my fans come from
of course. I have cake and ice cream for everybody after the show.
Pamela writes, Dear Ashley, "That's me" I think my boyfriend is losing
interest in me, he has been pressuring me to have sex but I want to save
myself for marriage.
Well, Pam, what to do if your boyfriend is losing interest in you. Are
you a fucking moron? How can you write something so fucking stupid? You must
be the stupidest person on the face of they earth, I think you should kill
yourself, you are a waste of skin.
All right, All right, if you don't want to kill yourself and you want to
be the last virgin on earth, I have an idea. I need a volunteer from the
audience. Thank you very much, it is very nice that you have volunteered to
help out Pamela on Ask Ashley, "That's me."
Ok, what is your name, John, that's nice, now John, Unzip your pants.
Hurry up it's not brain surgery, are you the second stupidest person on the
face of the earth or what. Ok that's good.
Ok now watch carefully Pam, this is how you keep a man and remain a virgin.
I am reaching into John's pants, I am now pulling out his cock, look it
is already fully erect, what a pervert. I am ashamed of you.
I am now running my hand up and down the shaft, of his cock, it is about
eight inches long. I am now going to put it in my mouth.
Do you boys and girls think I can get the whole thing in my mouth, I bet
I can, watch as Ashley, "That's me" deep throats John.
I have the tip of his cock in my mouth now, I am slowly going down on it,
I know you boys and girls wont' be able to see this, but I am going to use my
tongue to lick his cock while my lips are wrapped around his cock.
Did you see me swallow his whole cock, I told you I could do it. I am now
going to swallow the whole thing, and then I am going to stick my tongue out
and lick his balls so you all can see.
I guess you all are wondering where I learned this, what are you all,
freaking morons, I am the star of the Nick show All That, of course I am an
expert cocksucker, you can't get a role on television if you aren't Jesus, I
am surrounded by idiots.
John I am going to swallow your cock and lick your balls again, I want you
to pull my ponytail and fuck my face, you can do that can't you?
Pamela, I want you to watch this closely, there will be a test later, you
should tie your hair into a ponytail and dress like a school girl, men love
school girls, I should know because I am one, I wore my catholic school
outfit when I got this role.
Ok John now fuck my face as hard as you can. Mmmmm, ok I need to catch my
breathe for a second, now again.
Ok boys and girls, get a camera in for a close-up on my face stat. When
say stat I mean now, I am surrounded by idiots.
Now, look into my mouth children, all that white stuff is John's sperm, he
came into my mouth without warning me, that's o k, that's what men do, that's
why they are pigs.
My, My look at John, his cock is still hard. He is a degenerate, Pam,
there is a way that you can finish him off even if your jaw gets tired.
I am going to get on all fours, I know I have the body of a 12 year old,
but that's what I am.
Ok John, you see my ass don't you? Ok I want you to stick that cock into
it, you can do that, right?
That's good, Ashley "That's me" needs her ass fucked. Put it in now John.
You see Pam, he has his cock in my ass, and if I hadn't already fucked
the whole cast of All That I would still be a virgin, oops, I don't think I
was supposed to say that.
Idiot John has only put half his cock in my ass, I guess he is scared
of hurting my skinny body, watch this.
I have slammed my ass back onto John now, his entire 8 inches is inside
my ass now.
I am rocking back and forth, John has grabbed my pony tail. He his
starting to rock and roll now.
I am matching his thrust, John is grunting like a girl now, I can make
him scream, I am going to tighten my ass.
Listen to him, now I am going to rock back as hard as I can. This feels
almost as good as the cucumbers, but you don't have to cuddle with cucumbers
after it's over.
John is fucking me harder now, that's the way I like it, Oh boy, he
stopped now, I can feel his spunk in my ass. I will squat and let it drip
Well, Pam, I hope you know what to do now, if you follow my advise you can
have any man you want, don't settle for losers.
That's all the time we have for today, thanks for watching Ask Ashley
"That's me" and come back next time, remember there is cake and ice cream for
all my fans.