Disclaimer: Alfred Hitchcock Presents belongs to the Estate of Sir Alfred
Hitchcock, Michael Sloan Productions and Universal TV. This story is
not-for-profit, but I own it.
Warnings: Strong language, graphic violence, male/female sex, female/female
sex, drug use
Categories: Het, slash, bi
Feedback: Yes, I want feedback.
Barbara Eden -- Jennifer Matheson
Heather Locklear -- Daphne Cross
Grant Show -- Brian Spelling
David James Elliot -- Nicholas De Niro
Summary: A handsome young man arrives in California for some much-needed
rest, only to have his vacation get interrupted by drugs and mobsters.
Other Notes: This story is a birthday gift for Barbara Eden, who was born on
August 23rd, 1934.
Dedication: Happy Birthday to Barbara Eden!--ATK 2005
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: I Should've Known Better
by Andrew Troy Keller ([email protected] com)
Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. I am so honored to have with me one of
the finest personal computers on the market today and I do believe that with
such a wonderous device, I shall be able to answer your questions about
tonight's little cautionary tale.
Hmmmm, it appears that my newfound little helper has a small glitch inside of
it. Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I do believe that now would be the perfect
time for me to go seek some assisstance, which would indeed give you just the
right amount of time to enjoy this story.
* * *
Okay, let me tell all of you characters out there this one story about what
had suddenly caused my own peaceful and relaxing vacation to turn into a
First of all, my name is Brian Spelling and I had just arrived from my
hometown of Tucson, Arizona to Westwood, California on August 23rd in order
to give myself some peace and relaxation from all of the stress that I've had
to go through back at the auto plant.
But that was before some dumb-ass jerk had bumped into me and -- in the
process -- caused something to be dropped into my very own pocket, causing
little old curious me to take that something out of my pocket and discover
that it was a small plain-brown package.
Now of course, that was when I had decided to go find the customer service
desk at that airport and report to them how I had found that package in my
pocket, only to have two muscle-bound goons step out of nowhere and pound me
into a bloody pulp.
And after that was done, one of those thugs had taken the package out of my
hands, stare at me with the look of pure nastiness in his eyes and said,
"Mister De Niro has a message for you, Stanley!Next time, keep your hands
away from his personal property!Got that, shit-head?"
And then, after the two thugs had left the scene and while I was trying to
get my bruised and bloodied body off the floor, someone else had ran over to
me, placed her hands on my arm and said, "Here. Let me help you up."
And after I had heard that voice, I had looked up and discovered that it was
indeed the voice of the most beautiful angel on this very planet Earth, just
before she had started dragging me towards one of the airport exits and
saying, "My name is Daphne Cross. I happen to be an assistant to a Miss
Jennifer Matheson. Have you heard of her?"
"No, I've never had the pleasure of meeting her," I had answered Daphne,
after I had given that question of hers some serious thought. "Why do I have
the feeling that she's like a guy named Donald Trump?"
"Well, now that you've mentioned it, she is... in a way," answered Daphne,
after we had stepped out of the airport and we had placed ourselves inside
her car. "Let's just say that my employer is like anybody in the City of New
York. She likes a good scrap now and again."
Just then, after she had started up the car and drove us all the way to one
of those fancy downtown apartment buildings, Daphne had helped me get out of
the car and dragged me to one of the building's elevators.
And after we had rode that thing all the way up to the floor where the
penthouse apartment happens to be on, we had stepped out of the elevator and
into the most beautiful living room that I had ever seen in my whole life.
That was when another hot looking babe had walked into the room, took one
look at me and said, "Wholly shit!You really don't look so good, my kind
friend. It's a good thing that Daphne has spotted you when she did.
Otherwise, you would've bled to death."
"That's for sure. May I ask who you are?" I had asked the second babe with
the look of confusion on my face, which was just before she had let out a
small giggle and answered, "Oooohhhh, I'm so sorry about that. My name is
Jennifer Matheson and I happen to live here."
And then, just as I was about to ask a few more questions, Jennifer has
suggested that I should go take a nice warm shower and get some rest,
which -- at the time -- I had felt like doing anyway.
So, after I had stepped into the bathroom, I had turned on the water,
stripped off all of my clothes, stepped into the shower and allowed the water
to casscade down my entire nude body.
But then, while I was rubbing soap all over my bod, the two babes had walked
into the bathroom and noticed what a fantastic build I've had on me, which
has caused the both of them to take all of their clothes off, step into the
same shower with me and started running their hands all over each and every
part of my personal pelt.
And then, after she had looked at me and discovered the look of confusion on
my face, Jennifer has placed the tips of her fingers on my lips and said,
"Sssshhhh. It's going to be okay, Brian. There's no need for you to be
afraid. All you need to do now is just relax... and enjoy it."
And with that, Jennifer and I had kissed each other ever so passionately
on the lips, just before she had started licking all over my nude body and
sucking on my stiff cock and Daphne has allowed me to start licking on her
hot, wet pussy and carressing her firm breasts.
"Aaaahhhh, yeeeessss!That's it!Do it, Brian!", said Daphne, after she had
placed her hands on my bare chest and slowly licked her lips. "Touch me!
Touch me there! Suck my wet pussy dry! Aaaahhhh!"
And then, at that exact moment, I had suddenly realized that I was
experiencing something that I had never experienced with a pair of
hot-looking babes before, for I was experiencing pure and untamed erotica...
and enjoying every minute of it.
Just then, after we had finsihed our shower together and placed ourselves
into the master bedroom, I had placed my stone hard dick inside Daphne's cunt
and started licking on Jennifer's snatch, while Daphne has started sucking on
"AAAAHHHH, YES! THAT'S IT! DO IT, BRIAN! DO IT, DAPHNE!" yelled a
sexually-energized Jennifer, after she had placed her hands on Daphne's bare
back. "TOUCH ME! SUCK MY TITS! FUCK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME! MAKE ME WANNA
And then, after we had started moving harder and faster and our lovemaking
has reached its final path towards the City of Los Angeles, the three of us
had came and collapsed due to exhaustion.
Then, after we were all finally able to catch our breath and my two newfound
bi-sexual lovers had placed their heads on my chest, Jennifer has placed her
hand on my bare shoulder, let out a sigh and asked, "Brian, how would you
like to get revenge on that son-of-a-bitch who had sent those dumb-ass
gorillias on you?"
And after I had given that idea some thought, I had looked at Jennifer, took
a deep breath and answered, "That sounds okay by me. the only question is how
are we going to pull off that little trick?"
The answer to that question had came to us soon enough, for on the very next
day, a black stretch limo has just arrived at an old abandoned warehouse,
where the same two goons who had attacked me at the airport were waiting.
And after the rear passager's side door of the limo has opened and this guy
who had looked more like he was dressed-up to go some big Hollywood gala had
gotten out of the car, he had walked over to his personal goon squad and took
the package out of the hands of Thug Number One, who had cleared his throat
and said, "I hope it's still to your liking, Boss."
And then, after he had opened the package and noticed that his little bundle
of cocaine has been placed right back in his possession, the handsome boss
had looked at the thugs and asked, "And were you able to give Charlie the
"I sure did, Boss. As a matter-of-fact, we had also beaten the living shit
out of him for you," answered the first thug, only to have his angry boss
pick up an aluminum baseball bat, smacked the two thugs in the heads with
it and yelled, "GUESS WHAT, YOU DUMB-ASS PIECE-OF-SHIT! I'VE HAD YOU TAILED
TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WERE DOING THE JOB!THAT TAIL HAD TOLD ME THAT YOU HAD
GIVEN THE MESSAGE TO THE WRONG GUY AND MADE A MONKEY OUT OF NICHOLAS DE
And after they had gotten themselves back on their feet, the first thug had
looked at Nicholas with confusion in his eyes and asked, "I don't understand,
Boss. We saw this guy with the package and assumed that...!"
"GUESS WHAT, SHIT-HEAD! ASSUMPTION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL FUCK-UPS!" a loud
voice had boomed at them from out of nowhere, causing a confused Nicholas
and his thug squad to turn around and discover that I was standing outside
the building with some sticks of dynamite in one hand and a lit match in
the other hand. "OH, BY THE WAY, NICHOLAS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
And then, after I had lit the dynamite and tossed it inside the building and
slammed the large door shut, that son-a-bitch and his pack of piss-ants has
started scrambling for a way to get themselves out of that building before
the dynamite goes off.
But it was too late, for the dynamite had exploded and caused everything and
everybody -- including a certain Mister Nicholas De Niro -- inside of that
place to get blown straight down into the tenth level of hell.
As for me, I was able to get myself clear away from the scene before the
blast and made it over to another limo, where Jennifer and Daphne were
waiting for me.
At first, I had figured that the three of us were going to live happily ever
after together, but after she had asked, "Were you able to get rid of the
son-of-a-bitch?" and I had answered, "Yes, I did. That's the last anybody
is ever going to see of that pain-in-the-ass prick," a devilishly-gleeful
Jennifer had pulled out a gun, aimed it at me, wrapped her arms around Daphne
and said, "Thanks for the help out, Brain. That son-of-a-bitch has been
forcing his way into my business for far too long. Oh, and I'm so very sorry
to end it like this. But let's look at it this way. You really were the best
fuck that we've ever had."
And then, just as she was about to pull the triger, shoot me right in the
head, cause me to drop down to the ground and leave me for dead, there was
only this one thought that had suddenly popped into my mind... and that
thought was that I should've known better.
* * *
Well, Ladies and Gentlemen. I really do hope that you were able to enjoy
tonight's tale. Although, I am sorry to say that I would be unable to get my
little helper back into operation status. However, all is hopeful, for I had
gone to the home of this delightful chap, who had suggested that I should use
this. It may look like a sledgehammer to you, but to me, it is what I shall
now call a computer-fixer. So, my dear friends, I do believe that it is time
for me to get started on repairing my little friend. And I do believe that by
the time I have it back into operational status, we should also return with
another story. Until then, good night.
SMASH! Craaaaazzzz! Blip!